PARENTS TO BE CONSULTED. 173 



A young man, before paying his addresses to a young 

 woman, should ask at the innermost shrine of his "being: 

 " Will this one, or that, make me the best wife?" and let 

 the " light within" first illumine this question. He should 

 next consult his mother ; then whoever else he pleases. 



He should next make advances to the girl herself, and 

 by letter, rather than a personal interview ; not as a lover, 

 but only mutually to canvass their respective matrimonial 

 qualifications and adaptations. 



It next remains for her to consider and answer, not 

 whether she will accept his love or become his wife, but 

 only whether she will receive him as her suitor, to consider 

 their mutual fitness. 



Parents to be Consulted. Of course he should 

 now consult her parents. If she accepts, their next step is 

 to ask the consent of the father and mother. This fully 

 opens up the whole subject to a frank, intellectual discussion 

 between all the parties interested ; asking the parents leave 

 being tantamount to asking that of all concerned. 



If any object that this course exposes a sensitive young 

 man to the disadvantages of a negative, pray what course 

 does not? It is not possible to keep this matter a secret. 



If he can marry the one of his choice and still retain the 

 respect and affection of her parents, merely by saying, 

 " May it please you," had he not better ask? 



Is it not an impertinence to such to carry her off, heart 

 and hand, regardless of the parental wishes? 



Frankness is always commendable. The straight- 

 forward course is always the best calculated to ensure 

 success. 



In accepting his addresses, her parents should frankly 

 state their objections, if they have any, and also tell him, as 

 far as they deem best, .her main characteristics, excellencies, 

 defects and their opinion of their fitness ; and whatever in 

 their best judgment has a bearing on the question ; but all 

 such confidences should be deemed by all parties as sacred. 



