716 TRAINING OF CHILDREN. 



antagonism or anger or dislike in the parent's heart, he may act ever 

 so kindly and lovingly, the child will feel the contrary, and the parent's in- 

 fluence over that child is correspondingly small. This applies through- 

 out the entire life of the child from its earliest infancy to maturity and 

 beyond. 



The parent who wishes to bring up his or her child well, must first 

 of all be the child's most intimate and most confidential companion. 

 Get close to the child, be a child with it, enter into all its natural joys 

 and sorrows, be its best friend in that intimate way that knows not, nor 

 even thinks of, any secrets between them on either side. Make an 

 honest, loving, persistent effort in this direction until you gain the ab- 

 solute, unquestioned confidence of the child, and its proper training be- 

 comes comparatively easy, there is scarcely a limit to what you may 

 accomplish with the child, and your own reward will be greater than 

 you will believe possible if you have never experienced both the per- 

 sistent, confident effort and its result. It is never too late to begin this 

 though it may become harder the older the child is ere you begin. A 

 mother who came to the Child Culture Society, overwhelmed with grief 

 over her wayward son, a bright, active boy of ten years, was asked over 

 and over again to seek to win the child's heart. 



"Oh," she said, "the child loves me and I love him well enough." 

 Bat, it was persisted, do you make a confident of him as you once 

 did of the most intimate and best friend you ever had in your school 

 days? The mother was silent. After days of talking, and on her part 

 of watching the care given to other children, she agreed to try the new 

 plan, entering into her boy s inner life. In two weeks she returned, 

 her face beaming. "My boy's all right now. lean hardly believe how 

 he has changed and I'm so happy." She had simply discovered the 

 fundamental rule underlying all training, and especially the training 

 of children. 



How to Compel Obedience. " That child simply won't mind 

 no matter what I do," is perhaps the most common complaint of 

 parents in this or any other land. It is heard in every family where 

 there are children, at some time or other, and its cause is not far to 

 seek. The parent usually begins by giving arbitrary commands, 

 some of which it is not expected that he will obey and so nullifies the 

 child's natural respect for parental authority. In the first place, then, 

 the parent should be very careful indeed in giving commands or mak- 

 ing requirements of the child. Never order it to do a thing simply be- 

 cause you want it to do so. This is perhaps the most common and 

 most serious mistake made by parents in the training of children, for 

 incidentally, and many parents are surprised and some indignant at 

 the suggestion, but, nevertheless, it is true, incidentally they thus teach 

 the child to be dishonest and untruthful. We should always remember 

 that the child is a free spirit requiring to be taught, not a servant to 

 obey orders. Hence, to teach it obedience it must first be shown why 

 we give any certain command, and the reason must be a good, or, at 

 least, a plausible one. 



"Oh!" said Mrs. A "if the child picks up a sharp knife T 



