718 TRAINING OF CHILDREN. 



they are born. This is a grievous wrong. The mother who rebels 

 against the coming of the child and acts dishonestly during pregnancy 

 or permits her mind to dwell on thoughts of dishonest actions, is teach- 

 ing her coming child, unwitttingly to be dishonest. The parents who 

 promise their little children things and who do not fulfill the promise, 

 or, who take away, without the child's consent, anything that has been 

 given to the child or that the child has found and imagines to be its 

 own, teaches that child dishonesty. It is child nature to seek redress 

 for what it considers wrongs, to retake what it believes has been taken 

 away wrongly. 



Parents often, though unintentionally, teach the child dishonesty 

 by arbitrary punishment for childish action. The child naturally 

 thinks that everything within its reach is its own. It requires long 

 and patient instruction to acquaint the child with the limitations to 

 what it may consider its own. To teach a child honesty it is first 

 necessary to be absolutely honest with the child. The surest way of 

 teaching a child to be dishonest is to suspect him and let him know 

 that you suspect him. This should never be done under any circum- 

 stances as it serves to break down the child's self-respect and sense of 

 honor. It violates a fundamental law. The surest way to teach 

 honesty is to trust the child without reserve. We have known 

 numerous cases of habitual dishonesty entirely cured by first showing 

 the child the uselessness and the " bad policy " of dishonesty and then 

 putting him on his honor and trusting him fully. In severe cases this 

 may have to be repeated a number of times. To whip or otherwise 

 punish the child is worse than useless, for punishment makes the child 

 feel as if it expiated its wrong or paid for it as it were, and can do it 

 again and pay for it if found out, and besides developes cunning and 

 provokes lying in order to escape being found out. 



Punishments that are Injurious. Any punishment that 

 tends to shock the child is harmful and should be banished 

 from the home. To put a sensitive child into a dark closet is cruelty. 

 To whip one of frail physique is a mistake. There are very few cases 

 indeed in which whipping does any good and then only because we are 

 not wise enough to use far better punishments. 



The Sin of Scolding. Perhaps the most injurious, as it is the 

 most common, mode of punishment is by scolding. Nothing so 

 quickly breaks down the parent's natural authority over the child as 

 does scolding. And nothing so surely kills affection as scolding. 

 " Johnny stop that," or, " Now Mary there you are again, what did I 

 tell you? "or, " Willie, you naughty little wretch, see what you've 

 done;" and kindred expressions, are the curse of childhood. They are 

 a relic of barbarism and the extent to which they are used in any 

 family indicates very closely how far that family has progressed to- 

 wards the culture of the best families. It is needless to add that in 

 the homes of cultured people such expressions are never heard. If 

 you wish your children to grow up to be well -behaved, gentlemanly or 

 ladylike, never under any circumstances speak to them otherwise than 



