Circuits 



"What do you want with all those 

 hammocks and phonograph records and 

 fancy groceries?" asked the storekeeper. 

 "Going to have summer boarders?" 



"No," replied Farmer Corntossel. "I 

 wouldn't waste all them on summer 

 boarders. I'm tryin' to make the place 

 attractive enough to persuade a few 

 farmhands to linger around an' help me 

 out with the wheat crop." Kansas City 

 Journal. 



Paying Teller (to woman with check) 

 "I'm sorry, madam, but you'll have to 

 be identified by some one I know." 



"Oh, very well ; I have a friend wait- 

 ing outside in the machine. I'll bring her 

 in and introduce you to her." Life. 



He Yes, the governor cut off my al- 

 lowance, so I've had to cash my brains 

 for a living. 



She I wondered why you were look- 

 ing so thin. Boston Transcript. 



"You've made a mistake in your pa- 

 per," said an indignant man, entering 

 the editorial sanctum of a daily paper. 

 "I was one of the competitors at that 

 athletic match yesterday, and you have 

 called me 'the well-known lightweight 

 champion.' " 



"Well, aren't you?" inquired the edi- 

 tor?" 



"No, I'm nothing of the kind, and it's 

 confoundedly awkward, because I'm a 

 coal merchant!" National Monthly. 



"How's business ?" inquired the life in- 

 surance agent. 



"Haven't turned a trick this week," 

 said the book agent. 



"Same here. I'll tell you what I'll do." 



"What?" 



"I'll buy a set of books if you'll take 

 out some insurance." Pittsburgh Post. 



* 



Passenger I'd give you a tip, only 

 I've nothing but a $10 bill. 



Porter Oh, that'll be enough, sir. 

 Boston Transcript. 



Motorist Yes, I advertised for a 

 chauffeur and I have no doubt you are 

 a good one, but I am sorry to say the 

 position is filled. 



Applicant Then, sir, would you mind 

 giving me a reference saying I'm a good 

 chauffeur and you were sorry to lose 

 me ? Washington Star. 



"I had a dreadful fall last night." 



"Tell me of it, Egbert." 



"My wife was talking; I hung on every 

 word, and then, and then 



"Yes, yes, and then?" 



"Her voice broke !" Harvard Lam- 

 poon. 







Bix You should have taken time by 

 the forelock. 



Dix I tried to ; but the other fellow 

 got hold of it first. Boston Transcript. 



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