OR, THE WORLD HAS CHANGED. 149 



fair maid of Edenville, through the tedious chronicles of gen- 

 eratioDS, till you come to the mother, the better-half, or the 

 absorbing sweetheart of the present day, and behold your 

 potent influence over the so-called lords of creation, for weal 

 or woe; and while the unhappy experience, the lamentable 

 difiiculty, of the first sweet girl, in the primitive garden 

 about the fruit, may serve as a gentle reminder, yet remem- 

 ber your influence for good or evil is not abated one jot or 

 tittle. Ladies, ever encourage the worthy enterprises of your 

 infatuated admirers; frown down by your absence all their 

 evil works, and so shall you truly become the good angels of 

 deliverance to your less refined and more obdurate com- 

 panions of earth. 



Mr. President, I have neither the disposition nor the infor- 

 mation to discuss the science of agriculture, and will leave 

 such work for wiser heads than mine. I only propose to offer 

 a few general ideas on subjects of vital importance to the 

 class of men who earn their bread "by the sweat of the face," 

 and as the great Mr. Greeley should have said, I want to tell 

 you what little I know about farming. 



Mr. President and brother "crappers," as sure as I stand 

 before you to day, without hesitation or reservation, without 

 fear of successful contradiction, and in all the solemnity of 

 truth, I feel constrained to state that the noble, the wonderful, 

 the glorious profession of agriculture has nearly " busted " 

 your humble orator, "enduring the last few craps." But, sir, 

 I believe — and 1 find much comfort in the thought — that all 

 hope is not yet with me fled, for I believe the right kind of 

 farming can be made profitable. Sir, your eloquent speaker 

 of last month told us how he had come to grief agriculturally. 

 He gave us a graphic description of the romantic castles he 



