142 HISTORY OF PASADENA. 



The proceedings of this wonderful meeting might have been lost to 

 future generations had not the younger Mr. Martin, who applied for admis- 

 sion on the ground of having been at one time a culinary artist of high stand- 

 ing, been refused, and retiring to the seclusion of the ante-room, by 

 means of a crack in the door and two inches of lead pencil furnished us with 

 the following report : 



"The meeting was called to order at seven o'clock, Mr.* Berry in the 

 chair. Mr. A. Hennery Day moved that the Bennett brothers be expelled, 

 as he had been credibly informed that they put potatoes in their bread. 

 Evidently the Messrs. Bennett had been notified of this attack for they 

 hastened to display their credentials in the shape of a letter which the sec- 

 retary proceeded to read as follows : 



" 'We, the undersigned, cheerfully certify that we have eaten some of 

 the bread made with potatoes by the Messrs. Bennett, and were able to 

 attend to our household duties at the expiration of a week after partaking 

 of the same. Yours respectfully, 



Mrs. Erie Locke, 

 Mrs. Jimmie Banbury, 

 Mr, Donnie Pike.' " 

 "The president decided, after some deliberation, that the Bennetts 

 should be retained on promise of reform, and the payment of a fine consist- 

 ing of one loaf of bread to each bachelor present. F'red Berry moved that a 

 committee be appointed to submit the names of ladies in Pasadena who were 

 willing to loan yeast. Mercer Moody objected, on the ground that this was 

 calculated to interfere with the sale of his patented gopherated bread-raiser ; 

 whereupon one P. G. Wooster arose with indignation in his mien and fury 

 in his eye, and said in broken accents : ' I stand here, Mr. Chairman, the 

 victim of base deception — in the gentleness of my unsuspecting nature I 

 traded one of my duplex-elliptic button attachments to the gentleman from 

 Boston for one of his gopherated bread-raisers, and the first batch of bread 

 rose like a volcano to the tremendous height of two feet and seven inches, 

 thereby taking the roof from my stately edifice and leaving me a homeless 

 wanderer upon the face of the earth.' The gentleman commenced to sit 

 down, and a death-like stillness pervaded the solemn assembly, broken only 

 by a deep sob from Mr. Berry. When the emotion had somewhat subsided 

 Mr. Cooley arose and told the chair how he and Dr. Baker cooked rice — 'only 

 a small quantity, Mr. President, — a quart or so,' — and how the stuff swelled 

 and swelled and swelled until they were obliged to turn on the hose to get 

 water enough, and how they filled seven milk-pans, one churn, two wash 

 boilers, three hats, two pairs of boots and one pillow slip. A solemn silence 

 followed this painful recital, broken only by a deep groan from Mr. Berry. 

 Mr. Croft arose, and bending his earnest gaze upon the chairman, said in a 

 voice heavy with emotion : ' My suffering brothers, the remedy for all your 

 evils — indeed, for all the evils of the Pacific Slope, lies in the one word j^e?ns. 

 When will humanity learn that saw-dust and water baked in the lids of 

 yeast powder cans and served hot on the dust pan, will cure dy.spepsia, even 

 in a male? I know, Mr. President, for I have tested it — even in two males. 

 And I have mentioned these things before, with no effect. My friend Berry 

 still fries beans for his vSunday dinner, and Day continues to bake buckwheat 

 cakes on a shovel, just as of yore. I leave you to your fate.' The speaker 



