MAXIMS FOR THE IRRIGATED FARM. 



Don't put yourself on the shelf. 



Get a move out of that groove. 



It doesn't take a strong man to break his own 

 pledges. 



The power to kick is in the heel not in the head. 



The fruits of a successful life grow on the tree of 

 economy. 



All men praise patience, but few can practice it. 



Trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle. 

 A man is his own star; 

 Our acts our angels are 

 For good or ill. 



A " stiff upper lip " seldom belongs to a man who 

 has a limber tongue/ 



The " sweet by and by " is not likely to come to 

 those who are continually sour now. 



The breeding of your children is of more impor- 

 tance than the breed of your hogs. 



Contentment consists not in great wealth, but in few 

 wants. 



The friend of everybody is often a friend to nobody. 



Cupid doesn't fatten on a steady diet of corned beef 

 and cabbage. 



A million dollars in gold can't buy a meal for a 

 hungry heart. 



To women there are three kinds of men men, lov- 

 ers and husbands. 



Various facts go to show that a man's age may be 

 as ripe as the man himself is green. 



Courtship is seldom a training school for what 

 comes after. 



A wise woman will never marry the man who be- 

 lieves that the wife should be entirely dependent upon 

 the husband. 



Some men put into their pocketbooks much more 

 than their money. 



It is a dangerous business for men and women to 

 lie to each other until they are married. 



There is a time to do as others wish, and a time to 

 refuse. 



Early rising in the morning makes early retiring in 

 the evening pleasant. 



The man who is not content with little is content 

 with nothing. 



Every bird has its decoy, and every man is led and 

 misled, in his own peculiar way. 



That man is not capable of caring for his own soul 

 who is too thoughtless to care tor his horses. 



It is as natural for us to grumble as for a horse to 

 shake his head when flies tease him. 



Spend not all you have; believe not all you hear; 

 tell not all you know, and do not all you can. 



When we give ourselves to vice the glass of time 

 runs mud ; 



When we live by routine it runs sand; 



When we are bent on improvement it runs gold 

 dust. 



The bee, though it finds every rose has a thorn, 

 comes back loaded with honey from his rambles; and 

 why should not other tourists do the same ? 



He who is his own monarch contentedly sways the 

 sceptre of himself, not envying the glory to crowned 

 heads of the earth. 



To watch the corn grow, or the blossoms set; to 

 draw hard breath over the ploughshare or spade ; to 

 read, to think, to love, to pray, these are the things 

 that make men happy. 



" Sometimes," said Uncle Eben, " er man's ter'ble 

 skyaht 'bout hidin' 'is light undah er bushel when er 

 pint cup 'ud answer all de purposes wifoutno trouble 

 't all." ^ 



The best results on the farm are attained where 

 study is allied with practice. An exact knowledge 

 of facts relating to agriculture, has a tendency to 

 eliminate unreasonable prejudice by the substitution 

 of rational practice. 



Write out a list of your wrongs. Look them in the 

 face. You will be astonished to see how many of 

 them can be righted by righteous conduct on your 

 part. 



Plant lice are bad enough, but plant lies are worse. 

 That's what you do when you teach the child (by ex- 

 ample) to deceive. You need a spraying with pray- 

 ing. 



Tottie (aged five) : " I wonder why babies is al- 

 ways born in the night time? " 



Lottie (aged seven, a little wiser): "Don't you 

 know? 'Cos they want to make sure of finding their 

 mothers at home." 



As the Dutchman translated it : " The ghost is 

 willing, but the meat is feeble. 1 ' 



Farmer: "I bought some stock in that Western 

 Land Company." 



Broker: " Wasn't it watered ? " 



Farmer: " That's what I understood; but they've 

 been assessing me like the mischief for irrigation 

 purposes." 



"Who was the inventor of the modern cigarette?" 

 " The fool-killer." 



" Beware the microbes in a kiss ! '' 

 Cold-hearted science cries. 



Alas! where ignorance is bliss, 

 What folly to be wise.'' 



Exciting fights and brawls, I trow, 

 May flow from pleasure's cup; 



But it takes the farmer with his plow 

 To stir the country up. 



A little girl's father had a round bald spot. Kiss- 

 ing him at bed time not long ago, she said : " Stoop 

 down Popsy; I want to kiss the place where the 



lining shows.' 1 



"What do you think of these eggs? '' whispered 

 the lean boarder, " These eggs," responded the fat 

 boarder, whose occupation is that of advertising 

 clerk in a newspaper office, "are too late to 

 classify." 



American little girl to her mamma: "What is a 

 dead letter, please? " 



Mamma : " One that has been given to your father 

 to post. 1 ' 



Squander, and friends flock 'round you, 

 They leave when your money's gone; 



Drink, and the world drinks with you; 

 See snakes, and you see 'em alone. 



