THE IRRIGATION AGE 



107 



papers! How he could pierce them with 

 the shafts of his sarcasm; how he could 

 wound them with the darts of his wit 

 for he was witty in a bitter ironical way, 

 but it was a wit that always caused a sting 

 AS well as a laugh. Those with whom he 

 came in daily contact were, as a rule, un- 

 able to cope with him and feared his vici- 

 ous home thrusts, so that he stood in com- 

 parative isolation, making but few friends 

 and apparently caring nothing about his 

 companions. During the day he had his 

 work to occupy him and in the long even- 

 ings, when his active brain was not busy 

 weaving some fantastic tale which his 

 ready hand transferred to paper, he played 

 long games of soltaire games lasting far 

 into the night, in which he claimed Satan 

 as his opponent. If he won the game he 

 went to bed triumphant, remarking glee- 

 fully, "Well, I've beat the Devil!" but if 

 the cards failed to come out to his satis- 

 faction, after repeated trials, he would 

 throw down the patesboards in disgust and 

 with an impatient exclamation (for strange 

 to say he never swore) seek his room, for- 

 getting his lamp in his anger, and go to 

 bed in the dark, feeling that even the 

 Devil was leagued against him. 



Weeks rolled away and Ishmael re- 

 mained with us, just as shabby, unkempt, 

 and truth compels me to add dirty, as 

 when he first dawned upon my vision; it 

 was I think his natural state. But there 

 was one little relic of refinement that he 

 clung to in all his vicissitudes his tooth- 

 brush. Dirty he might be, often going all 

 day long with no pretense of combing his 

 hair, but his toothbrush was in daily de- 

 mand and his teeth were beautiful in their 

 immaculate whiteness. "From the full- 

 ness of the heart the lips speaketh," says 

 the bible, and upon receiving his first 

 week's salary Ishmael spoke as follows: 

 "I walked into this town tired, hungry and 

 penniless: for days I had slept in the fields, 

 with cows for my room-mates. Now I 

 sleep in a bed, have three meals a day and 

 money in my pocket. I tell you I feel 

 like a bloated bund-holder!" 



The proprietor decided to try wha 1 

 effect a good suit of clothes would have 

 upon Ishmael and so bought him a com- 

 plete outfit, including an overcoat, for the 

 weather was growing cold. For the first 

 time in years Ishmael was well dressed 

 and was a fine looking man, for while dress 

 does not make a man the lack of suitable 

 clothes does much to mar him. Our hero be- 

 longed to that numerous class who cannot 

 stand prosperity; "Boss,"' said he when ar- 

 rayed in his new apparel, "I just can't 

 work today same as if nothing had hap- 

 pened; you'll have to give me a day off to get 

 used to these clothes. I just can't work." 

 So he was given a "day off" and spent it in 

 walking the streets, up one side and down 

 another, gazing in the windows at his re- 

 flection, and enjoying the admiring and 

 astonished stares of the townspeople, who 

 could scarcely realize who he was. 



He now had a goood situation, good 

 clothing, money in his pocket, and as I 

 watched him I thought, "surely now with 

 his talent he will make something of him- 

 self." I found that I had not yet discov- 

 ered what natural aptitude the man had 

 for being a failure. 



One day the proprietor was called to an 

 adjoining town on business, and after giv- 

 ing us all our work for the day, he laugh- 

 ingly installed Ishmael as foreman during 

 his brief absence. Ishmael took the joke 

 in all seriousness, and after donning a 

 clean paper collar, as the outward and vis- 

 ible sign of his new dignity, he took a 

 fresh chew of tobacco and proceeded to ex- 

 ercise the authority that he imagined him- 

 self invested with. Never have I received 

 so many orders in an equally short space 

 of time as I did that forenoon. Not a 

 stroke of work did our "foreman" do that 

 day, but when not finding fault he walked 

 to and fro giving his views on every known 

 subject, from geometry to religion. Seeing 

 at length how lightly we regarded his au- 

 thority, he very formally and in choice 

 parliamentary terms, gave up his office, 

 and informed us that "things might go 

 to smash now, he would hold himself re- 



