THE IK RIG A T10N A GE. 



109 



Iowa, was written in his happiest vein and 

 gave an entertaining account of his ad- 

 ventures and surroundings. He was in a 

 singularly hopeful mood, and had as many 

 schemes in his head as the renowned Col. 

 Sellar. The letter, which was chiefly ad- 

 dressed to the "boss,"concludedas follows: 

 "I have two splendid plans to make 

 money and I wish you to join me in one of 

 them. There are thousands to be made 

 in either of them. One is the great horse 

 hoof remedy, of which you have often 

 heard me speak. I hav? the recipe for 

 making the medicine, which will cure any 

 disease of the hoof, and if you will go in 

 with me we will manufacture it, and I 

 tell you there's thousands in it. My other 

 plan is for you to. join me in a walking 

 tour from here to the Pacific coast, writ- 

 ing weekly letters to the papers, giving an 

 account of the trip. What do you say? 

 Please let me hear from you at an early 

 date. Yours, etc., 



ISHMAEL. 



As the proprietor did not feel inclined 

 to give up a paying business to enter into 

 this money-making enterprise, the letter 

 remained unanswered, and I presume 

 Tshmael regarded his failure to respond as 

 only another blow from unkind fortune, 

 and became more embittered then ever. 



Poor visionary! T wonder if he is still 

 "dreaming dreams" of the great fortune 

 that was always like the cup of Tantallus, 

 just beyond his reach; did his skillful 

 hands achieve something for him after all, 

 or were they folded across his breast with 

 their work all unaccomplished; his hopes 

 all unfulfilled? 



"Well, yer honor, thatmout be, but my 

 experience is that we has hung a great 

 many of 'em." Atlanta Constitution. 



GOOD PRECEDENT. 



A crosswoods jury in a Georgia justice 

 court brought in this verdict: 



"We, the jury, find the prisoner guilty 

 of hog stealin' in the first degree, an' rec- 

 ommend to hang him." 



"But," said the justice, "you have no 

 authority to hang men." 



The foreman looked puzzled, scratched 

 his head and said: 



THE BILL HE WANTED. 



"Runnel," said an old Georgia darkey, 

 "will you do me a favor when you's up ter 

 de legislatur?" 



"Certainly," replied the representative 

 ''if it's in my power. What is it?" 



"Don't dey have lots of bills up dere, 

 suh?'' 



"Oh, yes lots." 



"An" you'll be comin' home 'bout Christ- 

 mas, suh?" 



"Yes." 



"Well, suh, do if you please, suh 

 bring me a two-dollar bill!" Atlanta 

 Constitution. 



POINTED PARAGRAPHS. 



Lantern-jawed men are not always light 

 headed. 



The most of the slips occur after the 

 cup has been to the lips. 



Tears of joy and sadness are both drawn 

 from the same tank. 



Some people, like bricks, are always 

 hard pressed for cash. 



No jeweler has ever been able to im- 

 prove on the setting of the sun. 



The man who has a telephone in his 

 office is charged with electricity. 



When a woman drives a man to drink 

 he always makes a good time record. 



Time may be money, but some people's 

 time is about as valuable as confederate 

 currency. 



Beauty would be more than skin deep 

 if the average female complexion be fig- 

 ured in the deal. 



When an actress wears her diamonds 

 while in bathing, it's simply force of habit; 

 she's used to having them in soak. 



The fabric of a ready-made suit may not 

 be of the best, but the fabrications of the 

 dealer are usually the real thing. 



C Idea go Daily News. 



