352 



THE IRRIGATION AGE. 



asked what she proposed to do. The child 

 refused to tell, and the mother and father 

 went out that same day, thinking no more 

 of the matter. When they returned the 

 child met them with : ' 'Well, I did it ; I 

 did the most awfullest thing you ever 

 knew about." "What was it?" asked the 

 mother. ''I just swallowed three cata- 

 pillars, two fuzzy ones and a brown one," 

 answered the youngster. The returns are 

 not yet in as to the child's present condi- 

 tion. Ex. 



what she cost?" asked the old sailor. 

 "About $800,000," replied the recruit. "I 

 know, 'cause she's mine !" 



Edward Everett Hale can almost say ' 'I 

 told you so" in regard to the war just 

 ended, as he predicted that it would be 

 over in sixty days. 



There is a report current that a printer 

 recently committed suicide by hanging 

 himself with the office towel. This bears 

 the stamp of falsehood right on the face 

 of it, for anyone at all familiar with the 

 article -knows that it would be utterly im- 

 possible to hang oneself with the "office 

 towel. " That it might have caused his 

 death, we admit; he may have stabbed 

 himself with it, or butted his brains out 

 against it ; or the towel may have fallen 

 on him and crushed him. All these things 

 are possible, but that he hung himself 

 with it oh no ! 



Since the curfew law has been passed 

 and become effective in so many cities and 

 villages, progressive western women 

 notably of Kansas, are thinking of having 

 a somewhat similar law bv which their 

 husbands will be obliged to be at home at 

 a certain hour say 10 o'clock at night. 



HE KNEW. 



The late war has been instrumental in 

 doing away with the hatred against the 

 rich. It is told that a young millionaire 

 gave up his life of luxury to serve the 

 nation among the naval militia. One 

 day he was scrubbing the deck of one of 

 the battleships in New York harbor under 

 the siipervision of an old tar, when a fine 

 pleasure yacht steamed by. "By heavens ! 

 there is a dream of a boat. I wonder 



An editor is a millionaire without money, 

 a congressman out of a job, a king without 

 a throne. He constructs without hammer 

 or saw, builds a railroad without rails or 

 spikes, and farms without a plow. He 

 runs a butcher shop in the journalistic 

 world and deals out brains for cash or 

 credit. He loves those who advertise with 

 him as a brother. The editor is a teacher, 

 a lawyer, a preacher he sends truth out 

 to save souls and gets lost himself. He 

 heals the wounded, cares for the dying, 

 rescues the perishing and then starves 

 himself when a ham sandwich of kindness 

 would jerk him from the jaws of death. 

 Culbertson (Neb.) Era. 



A GIRL'S COMPOSITION ON BOYS. 



"Boys ia men that have got as big as 

 their papas, and girls is young, but will 

 be bigger soon. Man was made before 

 woman. When God looked at Adam He 

 said to Himself, 'Well, I guess I can do 

 better than that if I try again,' and then 

 He made Eve. God liked Eve so nmch 

 better than He did Adam that there has 

 been more women in the world ever since. 

 Boys are a trouble ; they are very wear- 

 ing on everything but soap." Ex. 



THE POTATO AS A PRIZE 

 CLEANSER. 



A prize offered by the Societv of Arts 

 for the best material for cleansing fabrics 

 without discoloration or injury, has been 

 awarded to a preparation of which the po- 

 tato is the base. Two good-sized potatoes 

 are grated into a pint of water, strained 

 through a course sieve into another vessel 

 containing a pint of clear water and al- 

 lowed to stand until thoroughly settled, 

 when the clear liquid is poured off, and 

 used to sponge materials which are then 

 washed in clean water, dried and ironed. 

 The sediment can be used for cleaning 

 carpets, etc. Bos. Journal of Commerce. 



