290 



TEE IEEIGA TION A GE. 



wouldn't insult respectable people 

 in the streets.'' "Oh," asked one 

 of the boys with mock surprise 

 "are you respectable?" 



"I'll show you if I'm not," I an- 

 swered. "Hullo there," I called 

 to a policeman who was not far 

 enough to get away, "Please come 

 here." I explained the situa- 

 tion. 



He repremanded the boys, then 

 turning to me, said with a humor- 

 ous twinkle in his eye, "Ye can't 

 oixpect may to kape the pace whin 

 ye're arround wid a hat loike dat, 

 kin ye?" 



The next day when I suggested 

 that we take a walk, the Junior 

 Partner said she thought she 

 wouldn't "go She didn't feel equal 

 to the ordeal. "Well," I answered, 

 "if you are ashamed of this hat 

 after all the things you have said 

 in its favor, why I think I shall not 

 urge your company. But it's com- 

 ing to a sorry pass when a hat 

 comes in between man and wife. 



"Now, -dear," pleaded the Junior 

 Partner, "give in to the popular 

 prejudice. The mass is against 

 you ; you now belong to the classes. " 



"Then you mean to say that in 

 this day and age, in this city of Chi- 

 cago, " I went on, with some warmth, 

 "a man can't wear a white hat, just 

 cannot do it, because his neignbors 

 don't happen to like it. Pretty 

 soon we'll have to give up our chil- 

 dren because they are naughty. I 

 believe there's a hat monopoly 

 somewhere." 



"Oh," laughed the Junior Part- 

 ner, "you must have left your phil- 

 osophy and the placidity that goes 

 with it, at the Golden Gate. You 

 can wear what you please, but peo- 



ple can smile too. There's no law 

 against that. In one way you are 

 doing the world a service by mak- 

 ng it laugh. A great many of our 

 struggling humorists might envy 

 you your success. But, at the same 

 time, I don't care to head a street 

 procession of hoodlums, when I go 

 out for a quiet walk. When one 

 gets to be President it must be en- 

 dured, I suppose, but we ought to 

 enjoy the rights of a private citi- 

 zen. The last time you were down 

 Ogden avenue fifteen boys marched 

 after you." 



I am very stubborn, and kept my 

 hat on. 



In July when we went to Indiana 

 I found myself one warm'day in the 

 town of Warsaw. I wore my his- 

 toric hat. As the Hoosier poet and 

 I were walking down street, a lad 

 shouted out at the corner, "Say, 

 mister, when's the show comin' 

 off?" "He takes you for Cody," 

 said my companion. You'll have 

 to succumb to the pressure of pub- 

 lic opinion in Indiana, or I'm mis- 

 taken." 



I hoped and prayed that some hat 

 thief would come along, or a bucket 

 of coal fall on the hat, but neither 

 thing happened; so at the first hat 

 store I went in and bought a fifty 

 cent crush felt. The selection was 

 not inappropriate for I was a 

 crushed man. My spirit was broken. 

 After this no one accosted me. I 

 became one of the herd, and felt 

 very snappish, especially when I 

 met the Junior Partner, and she 

 asked in surprise, "Why, dear, 

 where's your Panama?" 



"Oh," said I, "it blew off into the 

 Wabash." 



It was not many months after my 



