THE IRRTGA TION A GE. 



'When we banish them, they say: 



'A her nit!" 

 It't their own outlandish way 



Ju-t to sit 



With a rifle in their fist, 

 On the hills the sun has kissed. 

 "When they've shot, they've never missed 



Not a bit. 



"So we're worried, and we're harassed 



Most to d<ath: 

 Arid we're flurried and embarrassed, 



And our breath 

 Cometh to us in short pants, 

 It's no fun to have to prance 

 A.hd forever look askance 



Dodging death." 



'"' ' ' ' Ex: 



,UNCLE EPH'S ADVICE. 

 W'en yo' mental atmospherical condition 



ain't., de bes' : : . 



W'en Mi'* sorter dull an' gloomy in de 



sky; . 



W'en dey's headaches on yo' features an' 



yo karn't get any res', 

 .An' yo got dat achiri' feelirr in yo eye, 

 . Dmp yo' troubles an' yo cares , ,, 



; An' jes' wander anywheres , i , 

 . An imagine yo's de king ob all creation. 

 j Kase dey ain't no chance t' smile 



)-.' W'en yo' worry all de while;. , . . 

 An' yo. might as well indulge in jubila- 

 tion. 



W'en yo' study up yo' troubles an' exag- 

 *. : gerate yo' pain, 



Jes' reflect dat dar's no pleasure in a 



groan. 



Fo' no mattah how you'se aehm' yo' c'n 

 . make hit right again 



An' widout a single supplement ob moan; 

 .< Take yo' tackle an' yo pole- 



An' explore some sunny hole ' 

 Where de speckled trout is leapin' up an' 



swishing' 



Set down on de bank an' dream 

 " J Ob de comfort in de stream 

 An' shake off yo' trials an' worries while 

 yo' fishin'. 



UNCLE HIRAM'S OBSERVATIONS,. ; v 

 "I've seen." said Uncle Hiram., ''lots o' 



noble men an' brave 

 Through jes' one bit o' folly brought t' 



ruin an' the.grave 



Men rich endowed with honor, men re- 

 spected an' revered, 

 Whose qualities were envied an' whose 



virtures were endeared. 

 An' yet they made a failure, much . t' 



ev'ry one's surprise. 

 But, my boy, I've watched the matter, 



an' in this the secret lies: 

 They were men who in position of advan- 

 tage had been placed. 

 With a hundred dollar income and a 



thousand dollar taste. 



An', my boy, I've seen them sinkin' in the 



treach'rous swamp of Debt; - , 



I've watched the ooze creep higher, an 



the waters o' Regret, .,. 



An' I've sometimes felt like callin', as I 



stood upon the shore, 

 "The way out, fellers, lies in jes' re- 

 trenchment, nothin' more." 

 Sometimes I've even , said it, to a good 



friend, jes' that way, 



An' while he heard, he couldn't compre- 

 hend a word I'd say. 

 He'd keep a sinking deeper in the swamp 



o' daily waste, 

 With his huodred dollar income and his 



thousand dollar taste. 

 So I've learned a valued lesson that to 



you I fain would teach. 

 Don't ever feed on apples that you find 



beyond your reach; 

 An' if you've money jes' enough to pay 



for bread it's plain 

 You're doin' wrong by buildin' up a likin' 



for champagne! 

 You'll find your Uncle Hiram's right, as 



on through life you go, 

 That some men live pn what they make 



an' some on what they owe. 

 But the first class, though they're plod- 

 ders, pass the ones who've forged in 

 haste 



