LAUGH AT THESE. 



BILL NYE AS A DAIRYMAN. 

 When I was young and used to roam 

 around over the country and gather water- 

 melons by the light of the moon, 1 used to 

 think I could milk anybody's cow, but I 

 don't think so, now. I do not milk the 

 cow unless the sign is right, and it hasn't 

 been right for a good many years. The 

 last cow I tried to milk was a common 

 cow born u\ ob'curity, kind of a self made 

 cow. I remember her brow was low, but 

 she wore her tail high and she was naugh- 

 ty, oh so naughty. 



I made a commonplace remark to her. 

 One that 'is used in the very best societ3*, 

 one that need tot give offense. V said 

 "So" and she "Soed." Then I told her to 

 "Hist" and she "[listed. But I thought 

 she overdid it. She put too much expres- 

 sion in it. 



Just then I heard something crash 

 through the window of the barn and fall 

 with a thud, a sickening thud, on the out 

 side. 



The neighbors came in to see what it 

 was that caused the noise. They found 

 that 1 had done it in getting through the 

 the window. 



I asked the neighbors if the barn was 

 still standing. They said it was. Then 

 I asked them if the cow was injured much. 

 They said she seemed quite robust. 



Then I requested them to go in and 

 calm the cow a little, and see if they could 

 get my plug hat off her horns. 



I am buying all my milk of a milkman. 

 I select a gentle milkman, who will not 

 kick, and feel as though I can trust him. 

 Then, if he feels as though he can trust 

 me it's all right Bill Nye. 



was below the Average in her Daily Out- 

 put of Eggs. 



Each time that she Laid an Egg a Roos- 

 ter would Crow lustily and excitedly and 

 Announce the Fact to the World. 



Now, there were Certain Hens that be- 

 longed to the Gossip Brigade, and they 

 were Fill?d with Envy because of This 



So they went to the Energetic Hen and 

 said: 



"\Ve think it Just Awful the way Mr. 

 Rooster takes all the Credit for your Suc- 

 cess. Every day he Crows and Exults 

 over What is Really your Achievment." 



But the Energetic Hen smiled Cheer- 

 fully and Answered. 



"Do not Lose any More Sleep over it, 

 for he is my Press Agent." 



Moral If you Make a Success at Mind- 

 ing your 0>*n Business, all your Friends 

 will Assist you in Minding it. Baltimore 

 America a . 



THE ENERGETIC HEN. 

 There was Once an Energetic Hen who 

 paid Strict Attention to Duty and never 



EMGLI8H CLUB WOMAN'S STORY 



In the State Federation of Women's 

 Clubs at this morning's session, Mrs. Hugh 

 Reed Griffin of London was invited to ad- 

 dress the convention. Mrs. Griffin, whose 

 husband is an American, formed the first 

 American women's club in London. The 

 club has become very popular, has attract- 

 ed widespread attention in England and 

 has the effect of establishing a better un- 

 derstanding between English and Ameri- 

 ican women. 



Mrs. Griffin told about the formation of 

 the club and it* work. She stated that 

 there wns some, prejudice in England 

 against the American club woman, and 

 that she, herself, shared that prejudice to 

 some di'grc e. 



"The American club woman is so terri- 

 bly busy that I often wonder, and so do 

 otlter people wonder, if >lie finds any time 



