158 



been a little inconsiderate in his farm and plan- 

 tations ; but far be it from me to shade my own 

 errors by throwing blame on him. 



I begged of the people whose bills I could 

 not pay, to wait a little ; and to keep them quiet 

 I added debt to debt. But, at last, the crisis 

 came, and these doubled and trebled debts, 

 amounting to an enormous sum, appeared in 

 dreadful array before Mr. P. 



Then came demands from the country trades- 

 people who supplied our house ; brewer, butcher, 

 baker, &c. ; and then, too, we discovered that 

 the housekeeper, taking advantage of my foolish 

 confidence, had never paid them ; she had de- 

 ceived me by false receipts, and had in every 

 possible way betrayed her trust. 



This shock awakened me ; I understood the 

 extent of my follies, and too late saw their con- 

 sequences : I saw Mr. P. sink under the blow, 

 and oh ! Bertha, I did then, indeed, feel remorse. 

 But, although wounded in the most sensitive of 

 his feelings, and involved by me in what he had 

 of all things most dreaded, he said he only re- 

 proached himself. His kindness never failed ; 

 but I saw that I had lost his respect, and that he 

 could no longer rest his happiness on me. 1 

 became fretful and truly miserable, and a sort of 

 reserve and mutual coldness gradually took place 

 of that "boundless sympathy of soul" which we 

 had till then enjoyed. 



