California Agriculturist and Live Stock Journal, 



apiavn* 



^ 



A Stinging Subject. 



|"Y wife is very proud of our garden, find 

 while pishing over it the other morn- 

 ing, a happy thought worked its way 

 under her l)aek hair. 

 iO^ What a delightful thing it would be 

 to have a hive of bees and raise our own 

 honey, aa well as everything else. 



I have always thought that woman inspired 

 ever since she convinced mo that I couldn't 

 do better than to marry her. 



This was an original, bold idea; happy 

 thought; glorious idea. I promised her a 

 hive of bees, and went to business with a 

 lighter heart and a firmer belief in the gen- 

 uineness of home comforts and amusements. 

 I bought a hive of honey-bees and brought 

 it home with me that very night. 



It was one of those patent, hydrostatic, 

 back-action hives, in which the bees have 

 peculiar accommodations and all tho modern 

 improvements. 



It was a nice little hive, none of your old- 

 fashioned twists or barn-size affairs. 



It even had windows in it, .so that the bees 

 could look out and see what was going on, 

 and enjoy themselves. 



Both myself and Mrs. B. were delighted, 

 and before dark I arranged a stand for the 

 hive in the garden, .and opened tho bay win- 

 dows so that tho bees could take an early 

 start, and get to business by sunrise next 

 morning. 



Mrs. B. called me "Honey" several times 

 during the evening, and such sweet dreams as 

 we had. 



We intended to be np e.arly the next morn- 

 ing to see how our little birds took to our 

 flowers, but a good half hour before we pro- 

 bably should have done so, we were awakened 

 by the unearthly yells of a cat. 



Mrs. B. leaped from her downy couch, ex- 

 claiming: 



" What can be the matter with our Billy?" 

 The howls of anguish convinced us both 

 that something more than ordinary was the 

 matter with him, and so we hurried into our 

 toilettes without waiting to do much button- 

 ing. 



We rushed oiit into the garden, and oh! 

 what a sight met our astonished gaze! 



The sight consisted of a yellow cat that ap- 

 peared to be doing its best to make a pin- 

 wheel of itself. 



It was rolling over and over in the grass, 

 bounding up and down, anon darting through 

 the bushes and foliage, standing on its head, 

 and then trying to drive its tail into the ground 

 and all the while keeping \ip the most con- 

 founded howling that was ever heard. 



"The cat is mad," said Mrs. B. affrighted. 

 "Why shouldn't it be? The bees are 

 stinging it," said I, comprehending the trou- 

 ble. 



Mrs. B.flew to the rescue of her cat, and the 

 cat flew at her. 

 So did the bees. 



One of them drove his drill into her nose, 

 another vaccinated her on the chin, while 

 another began to lay out his work near her 

 eye. 



Then she howled and began to act almost 

 as bad as the cat. 



It was quite an animated scene. 

 She cried murder, and the neighbors looked 

 out from their back windows and cried out 

 police, and asked where the fire was. 



This being a trifle too much, I threw a 



towel over my head and rushed to her rescue. 



In doing so, X ran over and knocked her 



down, trod upon the cat and made matters no 



better. 



Mrs. B. is no child in a wrestle, and she 

 soon had me under her, and was tenderly 

 stamping down the garden walk with my head, 

 using my ears for handles. 



Then I yelled, and some more bees came to 



her assistance and stung me all over the face. 



She was still giving me darby, under the 

 impression that I was the cau.e of all her 

 pain. 



It was love among the roses or something 

 of that nature. 



In the meantime, the neighbors were shout- 

 ing and getting awfully excited over the show, 

 while our servant, supposing us fighting, 

 opened the street door and admitted a police- 

 man, who at once proceeded to go between 

 man and wife. * 



The bees hadn't got at Mrs. B.'s tongue 

 yet, and she proceeded to show the policeman 

 that I had abused her in the most shameful 

 manner, and that I had bought a hive of bees 

 on purpose to torment her into the grave. 



I tried to explain, but just then a bee stung 

 the officer on the nose, and he understood it 

 all in less than a minute. 



He got mad; actually lost his temper. 



He rubbed his nose' and did some official 

 swearing. But as this didn't help matters, 

 he drew his staff and proceeded to demolish 

 the patent bee-hive. 



The bees failed to notice his badge of office, 

 and swarmed on him. 



They stung him wherever he had no cloth- 

 ing, and some places where he did have it. 



Then he howled and commenced acting af- 

 ter the manner of tho cat and its mistress. 

 He rolled on the gi-ound for a moment, and 

 then got up and made a straight line for the 

 street, shouting fire. 



Then the bees turned to the people who 

 had climbed upon the fence to see the fun. 



The excitement increased. 



Windows went down, and some of the 

 neighbors acted as though they thought a 

 twenty-inch shell w.as about to explode. 



By this time a fire engine had arrived, and 

 a line of hose was taken through the house 

 into the garden. 



One of the firemen aaked where the fire 

 was, but just then one of those honey mos- 

 quitoes bit him behind the ear and he knew 

 directly. 



They turned a stream upon the half-mined 

 bee-hive and began to "play away" with one 

 hand, while they fought the bees with the 

 other. But the water had the desired effect, 

 and those bees were soon among the things 

 that were. 



A terrible crowd had gathered in the man- 

 time in front of the house, but a largo por- 

 tion of it followed the flying policeman, who 

 was rubbing his aft'ected parts and making 

 straight for the station house and a surgeon. 



This little adventure somehow dampened 

 our enthusiasm regarding the felicity of rais- 

 ing our own honey. 



During the next week we wore bread and 

 milk poultices pretty ardently, but not a word 

 was said about honey, and now Mrs. B. has 

 gone to stay a week with her mother, leaving 

 ing me and the convalescent Tom cat, and the 

 ticlded neighbors, to enjoy our own felicity, 

 but not with bees — oh, no! — tilory Teller. 



The Bee as a Scavengek. — A mouse found 

 its way into the hive of one of our amateur 

 bee men not long since, and the intruder was 

 found dead and completely imbedded in wax. 

 The mouse, having a sweet tooth, crept into 

 the hive to steal honey, but unfortunately 

 aroused the inmates, and before he could find 

 his way out again was stung to death. By- 

 and-by decomposition set in, and Mr. Mousey 

 began to disseminate a bad smell, which bees 

 cannot tolerate; but finding it impossible to 

 hustle him over the ramparts, as they do 

 other nuisances, they went energetically to 

 work and sealed him up in wax, hermetically 

 sealed him, in fact, so that not the slightest 

 odor escaped to make the hive unpleasant for 

 the high-toned, extremely neat and cleanly 

 inhabitants. — Scholutrie liepubUcan. 



Handling Bees. — I commenced helping 

 my father handle bees in 1818. I have hand- 

 led them in the old way most of the time. I 

 have a few gums of my own getting up that I 



can go to, and in one minute have them open, 

 lift the frames and give them a thorough ex- 

 amination. Long since I found that one 

 should move slow around the hives, and if 

 the bees should surround him, or even come 

 within ail inch of his nose, he should be 

 composed. If he should get angry the bees 

 will know it and reciprocate it, and so will 

 they know if you are at ease with them. 

 When you open the hive, if they seem angry 

 or disturbed a few putfs of smoke will en- 

 tirely subdue them, and you can proceed with 

 your examination. — J. Frud in American Bee 

 Jourmil. 



A Plant Destbuctive to Bees. — Tho largo 

 podded milk weed, almost invariably causes 

 the death of every bee alighting upon it. Tho 

 bee either adheres to the plant or else bears 

 awaj' a small scale sticking to its feet, and 

 cripples itself fatally in attempting to remove 

 the annoyance. — Af/ricuUaral liepori. 



Why Farming is Unprofitable. 



The question, " Will farming pay?" has 

 been discussed before the New Hampshire 

 State Fair aa follows: It is complained that 

 farming is unprofitable. Men are leaving tho 

 farm and seeking employment in manufac- 

 tures and the trade of the city. New Hamp- 

 shire, the agricultural part of Massashusetts, 

 of Maine and Vermont, have gone back in 

 population and productive agricultural wealth 

 in the last ten years. Without seeking to 

 touch all the reasons for it, may we not find 

 it largely in this, that we ask too much of the 

 farm? Having a capital of $2,000, $3,000 or 

 $5,000 invested in it, we ask that the farm 

 shall support our families, educate our child- 

 ren, and give us a comparative wealth for old 

 age besides. And yet, do we treat it as other 

 men do their business by which they succeed? 

 If we fail in getting all this from it, we say at 

 once that farming is unprofitable! We are 

 unmindful of the fact that in mercantile busi- 

 ness, onlj' one in a hundred is fairly success- 

 ful, and only one in a thousand eminently so. 

 Does not farming do as well as that, and bet- 

 ter? Does only one in a hundred farmers 

 succeed to a competence, aiid only one in a 

 thousand succeed to affluence? And yet do 

 we not deal with our farms in the same way 

 that we have seen that the nation does with 

 its producers? Do we not take everything off 

 and put comparatively nothing on the land? 

 In every otlier business of life all the gains a 

 man gets he immediately puts back into his 

 business. The merchant increases his capital 

 year by year, from gains of the preceding 

 year, if he is a prudent man, until it becomes 

 as large as he can profitably manage. But if 

 the farmer makes any surplus on his farm, as 

 a rule, does he return it to his land, either in 

 increased facilities for farming, in enriching 

 the soil, adding to his stock, or draining his 

 land? On the contrary, is he not much more 

 Ukely to invest in railroad shares or bonds, or 

 some manufacturing enterprise, or loan it to 

 some neighbor? Having taken away from the 

 farm what the farm has brought him, and 

 ought to be returned to it again, to make it 

 more productive, he leaves it impoverished, 

 and then complains that the gains do not in- 

 crease. Is not the ditficulty that he is con- 

 tinuiilly taking awaj' the increase of his capi- 

 tal and leaving it oul^' what it was at the be- 

 ginning? Tho merchant, as we have seen, 

 increases his capital year by year ; but the far- 

 mer too frequently takes his and invests it in 

 other enterjjrises, and then complains that the 

 farm does not succeed. No farmer we ever 

 heard of ever mortgaged his farm to put man- 

 ure on it; yet men frequently do mortgage 

 their farms for the puri)ose of buUding a fine 

 house; and many take all the earnings of the 

 farm for ten years for that purpose. The 

 mortgage, or the iudebtmeut, once on a farm, 

 as a general rule in the past, except in the 

 change of fortune made by the change of 

 prices arising from the war, remains years, if 

 not to say forever. 



