BOOK III. CHAP. VI. 587 



formed the mod gainful part of his bufinefs ; though he was, oc- 

 cafionall}', a pliyfician, apothecary, furgeon, man-midwife, dentift, 

 phlehotomilt, .farrier, &c. He profefl'ed every branch, knew as 

 much of one as of another, underftood none : and, thus accoutred, 

 he was ready at all calls, and engaged in the cure of diftempers, 

 whofe names he had never heard before. He had a happy manner 

 of dilbulling the ratiotiale of any difeafe, of which I (hall give a 

 ipecimen that does him honour. He was fitting one day by the 

 bed-fide of his patient, whom the hero had over-dofcd with a pur- 

 gative, which caufed fifteen evacuations in a few hours ; and, the 

 irritation ftill continuing, the very mucus of his bowels came awav. 

 The patient, alarmed at this appearance, languid and almofl: fpent, 

 having taken no fuftenauce all the day, for want of fome refpif.e 

 from his agony, requefted the dodor to inform him of the caufe 

 of the lafl mucilaginous difcharge. " Oh," quoth Apozem, with 

 an air of moft folemn fagacity, " it is nothing more than the fuper- 

 " fluous juices of the blood. Sir, which are following the operation 

 *' of the bolus^ Sir; 'tis a fure diagnoflic that the medicine has 

 ** worked critically, and that the morbid acrimony of the prhnce 

 " t;/> is depurated from the abdominal emunftories." Mr. Apozem 

 continued in this ftrain till he had talked his patient fafl: afleep by 

 dint of hard words; in which comfortable flate he foftly left him, 

 to recruit his wafted fpirits. 



Mr. Apozem was a profefled enemy to regular phyficians, be- 

 caufe none, who valued their good name and reputation, would be 

 concerned with him ; for they never could have the fatisfaflory 

 aflurance, that a fingle ingredient of their prefcrlptions would ever 

 enter into Mr. Apozem's manufadlures. It was impofllble they 

 could meet with fuccefs ; for, when they prefcribed one thing, 

 Apozem was fure to compound and adminifter fomething very dif- 

 ferent : fo that, in defpight of all their learning and afliduity, the 

 patient was morally fure of dying. When the manner of the 

 death came to be the fubje£l of converfation, Apozem laid it, with 

 a ftirug of his fhoulders, at the phyfician's door: " the poor man 

 *' died regularly r After a few fuch examples, the prefcriber loft: 

 his bufinefs; and Apozem was fent for in his ftead. I have often 

 thought, that, confidering the defolation which Apozem fpread 



4 F 2 through 



