194 MEMOIR OF FLEEMING JENKIN 



nothing, but I will try to find a form of words.' 

 He did find one, and I am still ashamed when I 

 think of his shame in giving me that paper. He 

 made no reproach in speech, but his manner was 

 the more eloquent ; it told me plainly what a dirty 

 business we were on ; and I went from his pres- 

 ence, with my certificate indeed in my possession, 

 but with no answerable sense of triumph. That 

 was the bitter beginning of my love for Fleeming ; 

 I never thought lightly of him afterwards. 



Once, and once only, after our friendship was 

 truly founded, did we come to a considerable 

 difference. It was, by the rules of poor humanity, 

 my fault and his. I had been led to dabble in 

 society journalism ; and this coming to his ears, 

 he felt it like a disgrace upon himself. So far 

 he was exactly in the right ; but he was scarce 

 happily inspired when he broached the subject 

 at his own table and before guests who were 

 strangers to me. It was the sort of error he was 

 always ready to repent, but always certain to repeat ; 

 and on this occasion he spoke so freely that I soon 

 made an excuse and left the house with the firm 

 purpose of returning no more. About a month 

 later, I met him at dinner at a common friend's. 

 ' Now,' said he, on the stairs, ' I engage you — ^like 

 a lady to dance — ^for the end of the evening. You 

 have no right to quarrel with me and not give me 

 a chance.' I have often said and thought that 



