328 THE HIDDEN LIFE. 



the burden of sin was not grievous, and I lightly esteemed 

 the God of my salvation. Though weary and heavy laden, 

 I went not to the fountain of living water, I sought not 

 the bread of life (Lord, evermore give us that bread), but 

 endeavoured (a vain endeavour) by a dogged resolution, 

 an obstinate endurance of great discomforts of mind and 

 body, to withstand adversities of whatever kind, instead of 

 looking to Him who redeemeth the soul of His servants, 

 so that ' none of those that trust in Him shall be desolate.' 

 For we have not an high priest who ' cannot be touched 

 with a feeling of our infirmities/ .... I had great con- 

 consolation then from all promises to the downcast and 

 disconsolate, such as 'Blessed are the poor in spirit, for 

 theirs is the kingdom of Heaven ;' 'Blessed are they that 

 mourn, for they shall be comforted ;' and so far this was 

 well. But did I not put my sufferings in front of my 

 faith, and my patient endurance almost in place of it, as if 

 I merited the compassionate love of God simply because I 

 suffered, instead of seeking to be justified (solely as well 

 as freely) by His grace, ' through the redemption that is 

 in Christ Jesus ? ' 



" That the love of God was upon me I do not doubt, 

 because we know that He ' first loved us,' and this only 

 shews how great and abounding is the compassionate 

 goodness of Him who calleth sinners to repentance. But 

 that I loved God in return, or that the cross which I took 



