PETRARCH THE MAN 



to forget her, but she returns and fills me with terror. 

 Ten years my weary neck had borne her chains, and 

 love had pierced the marrow of my bones. Then I was 

 seized with a desire for liberty and tried to shake off my 

 yoke. But it is difficult to banish one who has been in 

 your heart ten years, and with shattered strength to 

 fight against a powerful enemy. I sought safety in 

 flight, wandered about the earth, ventured upon the 

 stormy Tuscan and Adriatic seas, sought refuge in the 

 Pyrenees. Then, guided by fate, I returned to the city. 

 Hardly had I touched the threshold when my malady 

 returned. Then I sought an asylum in those hills, 

 which I hoped would conceal me. But there, too, she 

 has followed me, and clings to her rights. Now she 

 appears before my waking eyes; now her threatening 

 countenance with vain terrors makes mock of my 

 uncertain slumbers. Often, strange to say, though the 

 door be treble-barred, she enters my room in the deep 

 night, firmly demanding her slave. I am transfixed with 

 cold, the blood deserts my Hmbs to seek refuge in my 

 heart. 1 awake, the tears stream from my eyes. I 

 leave my bed and the house of fear, and seek the hills 

 and woods, and unconsciously I look about me to see 

 whether she who has disturbed my slumbers may not 

 stop me in my path. Who will believe me ? Often in 

 the trackless mazes of the forest, when I am most con- 

 fident that I am alone, I see her terrifying face in the 

 bushes, on the trunks of the solitary oaks, and rising 

 from the liquid streams; it flashes in the clouds or in 



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