NEW PRACTICE. 259 



ing of trees as a remedy for their various afflictions was the 

 universal practice, and yet it must almost invariably have 

 fallen short of expectations. One by one, bright men began 

 to disregard the common custom. Here and there a man 

 capable of wielding a facile pen used ridicule as a means of 

 breaking up the old practice. "The worm in fruit trees," 

 exclaims one, "as if fruit trees were not afflicted with hun- 

 dreds of different worms, differing from each other in size, 

 shape, color, habits of life, time of coming to maturity, etc., 

 as much as a horse differs from a hog. Yet the universal 

 bandage system is warranted to kill them all. Does the apple 

 worm bore your apples? Bandage the butt of the tree, and 

 he perisheth forthwith. Does the web worm spin his web 

 in the branches? Bandage the butt, and he dieth immedi- 

 ately. Does the caterpillar, known as the red-humped promi- 

 nent, or the yellow-necked worm, strip the leaves off? Band- 

 age the butt of the tree, and hey ! presto ! he quitteth his evil 

 ways. Does the bupristis borer bore into the upper part of 

 the trunk? Still you must bandage the butt with the same 

 universal calico, and in a twinkle he vamooseth the ranch. 

 Be the disease what it will, the universal, patent, never-failing 

 pill is certain sure to extirpate it. In obstinate cases it may 

 be necessary to bandage the whole tree, trunk, branches, twigs 

 and all; but if you only apply bandages enough, the great 

 bandage anthelmintic vermifuge is sure to be a specific against 

 the genus worm. The genus bug may, perhaps, require a 

 distinct prescription, something in the nature of a cataplasm, 

 or an emollient lotion. Long live King Humbug! He still 

 feeds fools on flapdoodle, and many of them have large and 

 flourishing families who will perpetuate the breed to the re- 

 motest generations." 





