176 A FARMER'S YEAR 



gig to the Hall, where my horse was put up, whence in due course I 



made my way to D . On entering the schoolroom, which was 



well filled, I found an unfortunate friend, the only speaker present 

 except the chairman, addressing the meeting. I say unfortunate, 

 because clearly he had been thus engaged for about three-quarters 

 of an hour. As I came in he cast a despairing glance towards the 

 door, and his face became suffused with smiles. 



' Gentlemen,' he said in joyous tones, ' I will detain you no 

 longer, since here is my friend, and yours,' &c., &c., &c. 



' For Heaven's sake, keep it up,' I whispered back, ' until I 

 have had time to look through the candidates' addresses,' and, 

 responding like a hero, he kept it up. 



Then I began. Believing that the candidate would not be 

 able to arrive for at least another hour, and as there was no one 

 else to speak, I laid my plans accordingly ; that is to say, I adopted 

 the clerical method of oratory. 



Taking each clause of Mr. Holmes's address as a text, I 

 preached upon it to the most enormous length : at what length 

 may be guessed when I state that I had only waded through three 

 paragraphs before the candidate really did arrive. By that time 

 I was callous ; indeed, I believe that, if necessary, I could have 

 gone on for another two hours, since, when I had come to the 

 end of the address of Mr. Holmes, there was that of his opponent, 

 Mr. Soames, to fall back upon ; after which I might have perorated. 



I doubt whether to any one with an eye to humour there are 

 many things more amusing than a rural election meeting. For 

 instance, there is the ecstatic gentleman who, on these occasions, 

 is generally to be found standing outside the door, and murmuring 

 at intervals, his red face turned to the heavens as though he were 

 addressing the stars, ' 'olmes for ever ! 'olmes for ever ! A Norfolk 

 man for Norfolk.' Then with a sudden welling-up of enthusiasm, 

 and fixing his eye upon the planet Jupiter, ' Vote for 'olmes, old 

 feller, and you won't do wrong ! I say vote for 'olmes ! ' 



For true and earnest political enthusiasm, however, I think he 

 is surpassed by the intelligent elector who becomes so moved at 



