vi. HORNS AND ANTLERS. 97 



Seeing him issue forth, the pail in one hand and the hay- 

 calf under the other arm, the fancy occurred to us to 

 follow him. His first proceeding was to put the hay-calf 

 down before the cow ; he then turned to milk the cow 

 herself. The mamma at first opened enormous eyes at 

 her beloved infant ; by degrees she stooped her head 

 towards it, then smelt it, sneezed three or four times, and 

 at last began to lick it with the most delightful tenderness. 

 This spectacle grated against our sensibilities ; it seemed 

 to us that he who first invented this parody upon one of 

 the most touching incidents in nature must have been a 

 man without a heart. A somewhat burlesque circumstance 

 occurred one day to modify the indignation with which 

 this treachery inspired us. By dint of caressing and 

 licking her little calf, the tender parent one fine morning 

 unripped it ; the hay issued from within, and the cow, 

 manifesting not the slightest surprise or agitation, proceeded 

 tranquilly to devour the unexpected provender. 



Poor, simple-minded old cow ! But let us laugh at her 

 in the right place. That she should fail to distinguish 

 between the dead bundle and her living offspring is 

 surprising. But being deceived, why should she think it 

 odd to find hay inside? Ignorant of anatomy and 

 physiology, she knows nothing about insides. Had she 

 considered the matter and it doesn't fall in the line of 

 bovine rumination she would doubtless have expected to 

 find in her calf not hay but condensed milk. But if not 

 milk, why not hay ? She was well acquainted with the 

 process of putting hay inside, why therefore should she be 

 surprised to find hay inside ? But of course she had never 

 bothered her dear sleepy old head about any matter of the 

 sort. And the moral is that we must not expect to find 

 in animals that kind of intelligence which has no bearing 

 whatever upon the life that they lead. 



H 



