THE IRRIGATION AGE. 



17 



DROPS FROM THE IRRIGATION CONGRESS. 



[BY OLANDER.] 



In commemoration of those joyful days and nights 

 from September 29 to October 3 those "Five Nights" 

 when the 1,051 delegates, who established a record for 

 good-fellowship and good-nature equalled only by the 

 same qualities inspiring every citizen of Albuquerque 

 so long as it played the role of hostess to the Irrigation 

 Congress, were serious and gay by turns, in the con- 

 vention hall and in the red upholstered room of the 

 Alvarado Hotel the following anecdotes are written 

 down: 



ARNOT'S BAR BILL. 



He wore a badge that identified him as a member of 

 the local reception committee, and to those strangers who 

 troubled to inquire his name was found to be Arnot, 

 Scotchman, and his occupation bossing the biggest trading 

 outfit in the southwest the Gross-Kelly Company, which 

 sells blankets and curios to tourists and everything from 

 pins to prairie schooners to the inhabitants of the country 

 for 300 miles around. He felt the weight of the responsi- 

 bility which rested on his shoulders, a responsibility which 



unpaid for. It's little enough to do. And it's cost less 

 than I believed it would." 



Western hospitality has come to be a sadly over- 

 worked expression these days. But if Bret Harte's time 

 developed more perfect hosts than Alququerque furnished, 

 then that happy historian failed to recount their virtues. 

 And the truth is, anyone of a score of Albuquerque's citi- 

 zens did as much as Arnot for the comfort of the Irriga- 

 tionists and in as quiet and practical a way. 



WHEN HEARST SIDESTEPPED. 



William Randolph Hearst, whatever else he is or with 

 whatever contumely he may be attacked, is not and has 

 never been accused of being a physical coward. For all 

 that, the Hon. William is well guarded whenever he ven- 

 tures across the East or North rivers and leaves the con- 

 fines of his mansion on Manhattan Isle. And, be it said 

 in passing, the Pinkertons are enriched thereby. One 

 never knows, in these days of unscented, Standard Oil- 

 Senatorial love-note disclosures, what may happen to the 

 man who is thus ruthlessly spreading out before a gaping 

 public's gaze, the confidences of friends. Besides, the 

 Pinkertons need and Randolph has the money. 



It remained for the convention hall in Albuquerque 

 and a crowd of 4,000 mildly interested Irrigation Congress 

 delegates and their friends to be respectively the scene 

 and the audience to witness the worst scare the Inde- 

 pendence party's proprietor has had in all his trans- 



Roosevelt Dam, Salt River, Arizona. 



included among other things the proving to all the visiting 

 delegates the indisputable fact that Albuquerque knows 

 well how to cheer the stranger within her gates. 



It was not yet noon and the hospitable room at the 

 end of the long wing of the Alvarado was a trifle less 

 crowded than usual. Arnot, radiant in the possession of 

 two wandering delegates, whom he had coralled in the 

 less cheerful, if more righteous lobby, led the way to a 

 vacant space at the polished mahogany counter behind 

 which stood the polished-mahogany-hued Mitchell, he of 

 the never lacking smile, and with a rich Highland brogue 

 asked cheeringly for his guests to name their hearts' de- 

 sire. 



The liquid sunshine dispensed and swallowed, Arnot 

 now addressed himself to Mitchell, the ubiquitous bar- 

 tender. 



"How much am I owing this morning, Mitch?" 



The delegates exchanged significant glances. Surely 

 it is not the usual thing for gentlemen, even in Albuquer- 

 que during an Irrigation Congress, to become indebted to 

 a bartender before the sun has reached the zenith. 



"Yo* all ain't stuck much today, Mistah Arnot," came 

 from the grinning purveyor of the bottled care-annihilators 

 as he fingered three slips of paper on the cash register. 

 "Only forty-five cents this mornin', Mistah Arnot." 



Then in reply to the unspoken queries of his com- 

 panions, the big Scotchman explained, jokingly: 



"Ye see, it would be verra embarrassing if a gentleman 

 forgot to pay for his liquor and Mitch here were forced 

 to call him back. And in these busy days anyone is quite 

 likely to walk off unmindful of his bill. So I arranged 

 with Mitch to settle for any drinks that might be left 



continental speech-making trip. And the fact that the 

 scare was really unnecessary and quickly turned into a 

 joke in nowise detracted from its seriousness while it 

 lasted. 



Hearst and his presidential candidate, "Honest Tom" 

 Hisgen, had been seated on the platform while the big 

 throng applauded politely. The newspaper proprietor had 

 finished a speech in which politics was not once referred 

 to and was about to resume his chair when the scare 

 came. 



The newspaper men in front of the platform in- 

 stinctively ducked as the whistle of some object moving 

 rapidly through the air warned them of a missile hurled in 

 their direction. An instant later the thing [it was moving 

 so fast it could not be distinguished]^ flew across the plat- 

 form on a level with Mr. Hearst's midsection, said mid- 

 section being directly in the path of the winged object. 

 Mr. Hearst sidestepped with wonderful speed and with a 

 momentary flush of unmistakable fear warming his blood- 

 less countenance. Two stalwart men in black clothes, 

 seated unobstrusively at one side of the platform, sprang 

 to their feet simultaneously. 



The thing hit the big wall map at the rear of the plat- 

 form with a dull thud; dropped to the floor and then rolled 

 meekly back towards the Hon. William, now wholly him- 

 self again, save for a forced grin that illy hid the shock 

 he had so recently received. 



It was an apple a big, pale, yellow, irrigated apple 

 the gift of some unknown in the body of the hall who 

 doubtless wished to make sure of its reaching its destina- 

 tion and used more strength in sending it on its kindly 

 way than was necessary. 



