350 COACHING DAYS AND COACHING WAYS 



till they reached the Green Man at Finchley, where ac- 

 cording to immemorial prescription the four coachmen 

 alighted for a drink, or rather for four. And now '' a 

 change came o'er the spirit of the scene." In other 

 words, one " Humpy," so called either from his driving 

 the Umpire (but I hope not) or from his having a hump 

 on his back, which is more probable, was discovered to 

 have taken too much spirits. For he was very noisy and 

 .shouted and hallooed at the top of his voice, though at 

 what it is impossible to conjecture. However, the old 

 coachman who tells the story (the same who, it may be 

 remembered, upset his coach when driving on the 

 Portsmouth Road, with a noise like the report of a 

 cannon, and had consequently gained caution from 

 experience), the old coachman, I say, suspected that 

 something would happen. So he kept behind, and 

 waited to see what he would see. He first of all saw 

 one of the three coaches by a fence opposite a public- 

 house (no uncommon spectacle on the roads, I fancy). 

 But what did he next see when he arrived himself at the 

 public-house (sign, the Bald-faced Stag) ? Why, he saw 

 a coach lying on its side — the Manchester Umpire in fact 

 — the coach of the too demonstrative Humpy. And 

 things were pretty considerably mixed up with the 

 Manchester Umpire. The forepart of the coach was 

 broken, the luggage was scattered all over the road, also 

 the passengers, who, thus agreeably circumstanced, im- 

 proved the shining hour by bewailing their bruises and 

 cursing the conduct of Humpy. This was rather un- 

 chivalrous of them, as it turned out, thus to rail against 

 the unfortunate ; for Humpy was also on his back, per- 

 fectly helpless, " like a large black beetle," moaning and 

 groaning most hideously, and certainly more injured than 

 anybody else. He had indeed, with a curiously misdi- 

 rected ingenuity, upset the coach upon himself, and 

 materially injured his hip-joint. From Humpy himself 

 therefore no explanation of how things had occurred was 

 naturally forthcoming. But there were not wanting men 



