262 LETTERS TO BROTHER JOHN. 



Yet, if an impertinent countryman insult him in the 

 street, he must pocket the affront, and slink off, or 

 suffer all the trouble and inconvenience consequent 

 on sending him to the Station-house, instead of 

 quietly knocking him down where he stands himself. 

 Why is this ? Why ! because his brandy, and wine, 

 and luxurious habits, and full-feeding, have ren- 

 dered him no match for the hardy countryman. 

 Yet he presumes to say, that his brandy-and-water 

 has done him no harm, forsooth ! " I have drunk 

 a gallon of beer every day," once boasted a certain 

 hostler, " for the last thirty years, and I never was 

 in better health than I am at this moment." The 

 next day, a fit of apoplexy laid him dead in a ditch. 

 But does there really exist any such philoso- 

 pher's stone as I have mentioned above? Are 

 there any means by which a man may enable him- 

 self to indulge freely in the pleasures of the table 

 with impunity? I believe such means do exist 

 not of escaping with absolute impunity, but certainly 

 with comparative impunity. And I believe, more- 

 over, that I shall confer a more acceptable benefit 

 by pointing out these means, than if I were to write 

 a wagon-load of volumes, all crammed with dietetic 

 rules from "title-page to colophon." But do not, 

 my dear John, like the " profanum vulgus," despise 



