EECOLLECTIONS TO 1890. 73 



after I had recovered from the commotion, and being 

 able to analyze my feelings and retrospective thoughts, 

 I felt half intoxicated with delight, and considering 

 that all those friends were men with religious creed 

 and principles diametrically opposed to mine in many 

 respects, and with some in politics also ; and yet .... 

 any one can draw his conclusions ; as for me, Ifdt, 

 and to this day I feel, in the deepest recess of my soul, 

 of my heart, a sensation of more than delight, but that 

 I cannot define to my satisfaction. I can feel, but I 

 can't describe, how, I have received so much respect 

 and devotion from men so different of me, in many 

 respects. All that I can tell is that I feel something 

 like of an immense vanity for attentions paid to me in 

 many circumstances in the course of my life, and that, 

 several times from people who had calumniated me in 

 a scandalous manner, and who after rendered me jus- 

 tice so spontaneously as they had defamed me. One 

 instance, in which I take pleasure in relating. When 

 I was corresponding with the leing ! who became 

 my consort for fifty years, she lived with some luke- 

 warm friends in Albany who did not like my corre- 

 spondence with the above person, because it thwarted 

 their views in some ways. The lady friend told her 

 that she ought not to correspond with such a man, that 

 they knew (they had been told) that I was an awful 

 'bloody Kepublican, who would kill a man like a fly ; 

 7 



