236 A TEAR OF LIBERTY; OR, 



Jones. At first sight it might seem difficult to establish any 

 connection between that gentleman and my dormitory ; but the fact 

 is, our very comfortable hospitium some years ago, under a former 

 management, had the great misfortune to get into my friend's 

 black books. 



*' Oh aw so you are going into the west! " he observed one 

 evening during the preceding winter, " 'Spose you'll find your way 

 to Achil ? Every fellah does. But mind you come to a clear under- 

 standing about your bed. You remember, Julia" (to his sposa), 

 " what an awful wow I had about ours ? " 



" How can you be so absurd ? " remarked the lady, with something 

 very like a blush, as she made a rather sudden retreat. 



" 'Spose I ought not to have talked about it to you before her ? 

 Never mind, this is the way it happened. During our honeymoon 

 we visited Achil ; everything was delightful ; weather, fine ; country, 

 beautiful ; fare, good ; whisky, unexceptionable ; and on the morning 

 of our departure I asked for my bill, with a feeling nearly akin to 

 that with which refined minds repay an obligation. Running my 

 eye carelessly over it I remarked, ' There is one little error ; you have 

 charged me for two beds.' 



" ' Ah ! yes ; yourself and lady.' 



" ' Gracious heavens ! Do you suppose I have quarrelled with my 

 wife?' 



" ' Oh, dear, no, but two persons require two couches.' 



" ' That depends,' I remarked, somewhat ruffled. 'It can't apply 

 to me and my Julia ; that is, to a man and his wife, who, according 

 to law, gospel, and popular usages, are not plural but singular.' 



" ' Not in this house, sir ; but if you wish it I will consult the 

 principal.' 



" ' Consult the d . Hark ye, my friend, you may spare 



yourself the trouble ; there's my card, but if I pay for two beds 

 for one flesh may I be hanged.' So you had better take warning, 

 Walter, and come to an understanding if you don't want a wow." 



This was evidently a very sore point with Alphonso ; whether it 

 was a fact or fiction, whether it occurred here or elsewhere, I cannot 



