180 THE CONTROL OF LIFE 



§ 8. Married Life and Parental Affectjon 



The attainment of mature strength and a foothold in 

 life is normally followed by marriage. To postpone 

 this till prosperity has been gained and youth lost is 

 a mistaken policy. 



*' How to be happy though married " is a favourite 

 subject of good-humoured jest, but it is no laughing 

 matter. (1) One of the authorities on the subject — 

 Mr. Heape — points out that man and woman are so 

 different that they must eventually become opposed in 

 what he calls sex-antagonism. We adhere to the thesis 

 of The Evolution of Sex (Geddes and Thomson, 1889), 

 that there is a deep and pervasive constitutional differ- 

 ence between the sexes, but there is nothing in this 

 contrast to necessitate eventual antagonism. It may 

 as reasonably be regarded as an organic condition of 

 attaining in married life to increased appreciation and 

 happiness. The three sails of a happy marriage voyage 

 are organic fondness, intellectual sympathy, and some 

 capacity for actual working-together. Many voyages 

 are made with one sail and many with two, but the most 

 prosperous voyages are made with three. A normal 

 affectionate married hfe, with some fundamental agree- 

 ments, which need not be political, and with some 

 reasonable working-together (and mutual appreciation 

 of that, it must be added), does not as a matter of fact 

 lead to diametrical opposition of the partners, but very 

 generally to a loving comradeship — one of the fine things 

 of hfe. Marriage without some working or playing 



