THE CHANGE 229 



own immature thoughts. Ah, God, if I 

 had only known! " 



His thin hands covered the pale face, 

 his shoulders shook, and once again the 

 bean-sticks were a smudge. 



" One day I kissed her brutally and 

 suddenly Louise, more fragile of spirit 

 than the tenderest windflower. One day 

 I crushed her lips with my mouth. She 

 struggled away, and the tenderest girl 

 became a spitfire. She reviled me for a 

 weakling. She said that I had no sense of 

 honour, that I was not worthy of being a 

 man and then she seemed to shrink, her 

 expression of anger fled, and the tears 

 streaming down her face, she sobbed, 



" ' Julien, Julien, won't you make a 

 great effort to kill your egoism ? Cannot 

 you see that your intolerance of all people 

 because they have not the same fervour 

 about poetry as yourself will eventually 

 cripple all your powers ? You sneer at 

 Terry, who is one of the dearest boys, 



