The Modern Thames 



You must consult your own convenience only, and 

 drive right into other people's boats, forcing them up 

 into the willows, or against the islands. Never slip 

 along the shore, or into quiet backwaters; always 

 select the more frequented parts, not because you 

 want to go there, but to make your presence known, 

 and go amongst the crowd; and if a few sculls get 

 broken, it only proves how very inferior and how very 

 clumsy other people are. If you see another boat 

 coming down stream in the centre of the river with a 

 broad space on either side for others to pass, at once 

 head your own boat straight at her, and take posses- 

 sion of the way. Or, better still, never look ahead, 

 but pull straight on, and let things happen as they 

 may. Annoy everybody, and you are sure to be 

 right, and to be respected; splash the ladies as you 

 pass with a dexterous flip of the scull, and soak their 

 summer costumes ; it is capital sport, and they look 

 so sulky or is it contemptuous? 



There was no such thing as a skiff in which one 

 could quietly paddle about, or gently make way 

 mile after mile up the beautiful stream. The boat- 

 ing throng grew thicker, and my courage less and less, 

 till I desperately resorted to the ferry at all events, 

 I could be rowed over in the ferry-boat, that would be 

 something; I should be on the water, after a fashion 

 and the ferryman would know a good deal. The 

 burly ferryman cared nothing at all about the river, 

 and merely answered " Yes," or " No; " he was full 

 of the Derby and Sandown; didn't know about the 

 fishing; supposed there were fish; didn't see 'em, 

 nor eat 'em; want a punt? No. So he landed me, 

 desolate and hopeless, on the opposite bank, and I 

 began to understand how the souls felt after Charon 

 had got them over. They could not have been more 



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