120 THE EARLY DAYS OF 



every inch successful, but whose school education, like mine, had 

 evidently been neglected, innocently struck in, 



" Dear me ! Only fancy, drove over those hills ! In a Diligence, 

 I suppose ? " 



This sage remark reached the Professor's ears ; he turned his 

 eyes to mine and gave me a vacant stare, drew in his breath as 

 though he was preparing for a champion dive, and then collapsing 

 on the ground, rolled some distance down the hill, where he clutched 

 a friendly bush, which saved ahke further progress and his neck ; 

 and in this undignified position he sent forth most awful peals o^ 

 laughter. 



Elia has shown us that a bully is not always a coward; that ill- 

 gotten gains sometimes prosper ; and here before us was clearly 

 demonstrated that loud laughter does not necessarily "proclaim a 

 vacant mind." 



But as I have again wandered far away from school, I will refer 

 briefly to our village before giving a short account of the 

 stirring events which took place at Marlborough College during the 

 last half-year I passed there. Someone has suggested that I should 

 mention the traditions relating to the witches, cunning men, and 

 apparitions, which in former days put in an appearance here. But 

 to my mind such rubbish is far better buried in oblivion. It 

 resembles the reasons of Antonio's friend, " Two grains of wheat 

 hid in two bushels of chaff, you shall seek all day e're you find 

 them ; and when you have them they are not worth the search." 

 The Government did well to brand all persons, pretending to possess 

 occult knowledge, as rogues and vagabonds ; for old men and old 

 women have often described to me their fears in childhood when 

 they heard stories — supposed in those days to be strictly true — of 

 witches' midnight frolics, and such-like uncanny things. I would 

 even go a step further, if I could, and brand as rogues and 

 vagabonds all who place in children's hands, books — particularly 

 when they are illustrated — relating to ogres, imps, and dwarfs. 

 Some foolish parents will declare their children love them ; but 



