40 LIFE AND EXPERIENCES CHAP. 



thing that I really desire, and that will, I think, prove a really 

 useful way of spending my life ? I certainly must be excused 

 if I do not consent to throw away my lifetime. 



In my early years in London I used to see the late 

 Sir Henry Holland. He frequently invited me to his 

 breakfast parties in Brook Street. One day I found 

 him before breakfast busily engaged in reading an 

 enormous volume, the Vie de Ctsar presented to him 

 by his friend the Emperor Napoleon with the inscrip- 

 tion " From the author, N." On another occasion 

 amongst the party at breakfast was a military-looking 

 gentleman to whom I was introduced, but whose name 

 I have forgotten. On the party rising, Sir Henry 

 Holland came with me into the hall, and then in a low 

 and insinuating voice said, " Oh, my dear Harry " 

 for he used to call me by my Christian name, having 

 known my family for many years and being in some 

 degree connected with us through his first wife 

 " would you step into this anteroom for a moment ? 

 I will not detain you long." I waited for some ten 

 minutes, after which interval the old gentleman glided 

 in again noiselessly and, with his head on one side 

 and an angelic smile on his face, said, "Well, all 

 I wanted to say to you was good-bye good-bye and 

 God bless you ! " I only surmised what had happened 

 when I learnt some time afterwards that the military 

 gentleman I had seen was a high Court official, and 

 that Prince Albert was trying to find a suitable young 

 man to be the tutor or companion to the Prince of 

 Wales or one of the other Royal princes. I was sent 

 for to be looked over ; and no doubt when Sir Henry 

 showed me into the anteroom, he went back and 

 asked the Court official whether I would " do," 

 receiving an answer in the negative, probably to the 

 effect that I was too young or too old, or not a 



