v PROFESSOR AT OWENS COLLEGE 119 



the biological section than to the chemical one, which 

 I more or less represented, and I handed him over to 

 the secretary of that section, giving him, however, as 

 my opinion that if what he stated were true he would 

 put to confusion all other inventors of hair specifics. 



A third madman appeared on the scene. He 

 informed the President that he had made a discovery 

 by which the rainfall of any country could be satis- 

 factorily regulated. He intended, he said, to confine 

 his attention in the first instance to the British Isles. 

 His propositions were the following : (i) The rain 

 falls from the clouds. (2) The clouds always form 

 over the sea. If, therefore, we can prevent the clouds 

 from passing over the land, we can also prevent the 

 rain falling. If, on the other hand, rain is needed, the 

 clouds must be allowed to pass over the land and 

 there deposit their moisture. His plan therefore was 

 to erect round the coast of our islands a series of posts 

 between which sail-cloths were to be drawn. If rain 

 was wanted, these sail-cloths would be drawn up to 

 the posts, and the clouds would pass over the land. 

 If, on the contrary, the land was suffering from an 

 excess of moisture it would only be necessary to draw 

 these curtains tight, and all the rain would be deposited 

 on them and flow harmlessly into the sea. Fairbairn 

 heard the man out and then said, " Have you made 

 any calculation as to the height to which your posts 

 must extend ? " " No," he replied ; he did not think 

 it was important. "Well," said Fairbairn, " what do 

 you say to making the posts two miles high? " " Oh," 

 said the man, " I see no difficulty in that." After which 

 confession the President politely bowed the poor man 

 out, but to which section he referred him I have 

 forgotten. 



The introductory lecture which I gave on entering 



