64 



VAU 



ilB' REGISTER 



[No;! 



ble; for ihe injurers mid the injured rarely ever [chines of vasily greater imporiauce and coni|)li-' 

 measure their losses by the same staudanl, or take ! cation; ahhouuh liie arguments lo prove the rie- 

 the same views of their provocation. Hence, thejcessity of maintaininfj the relative position of all 

 ■wrathliil indignation becomes muluai — virulent j the ditierent parts of the gate, are precisely the 

 abuse is often reci|)rucated; until, at last, by such same, as serve to demonstrate alike necessity lo 

 alternate aggravations, this most ridiculous neiL^h- maintain, unimpaired, the relation of all the parts 

 bor vvarliire — originalimr in no belter cause, than of our political constituiions; if, indeed, we sin- 

 a bad gate ! is waged with quite as much animos- ' cerely desire to preserve them. Good gates, care- 

 ity, as ever inspired two nations to atlempt ench^ fully kept 'W/», according to the plan of the contri- 

 others' destruction. Let a short recital of one j vers, greatly contribute to the neighborly amily, 

 such quarrel, of which I have known several, not :and all its delightful acconipaniments of good of- 

 niateriaily diderenl, suffice lor tiie rest; and let us fices. JE5ut their sphere of influence is limited 

 suppose, that, on a certain occasion, A's hogs, 'to the walks of private liiJj: whereas, good po- 

 hoth seniors and juniors, finding B"s gale n\os\ .litkal constitutions, carefully mdintained, secure 

 invitingly out of oi'der, did, incontinenily make a , peace, prosperity, and happiness, to millions up<tn 

 forcible entry through the same, into B's corn- j millions of human beings, who, tviihottt such rt- 

 field; and not having the fear, either of God or jS/rcwif, would have a chance, not much better 

 man, t)elbre their eyes, did there most feloniously I than that of so many tygers and hyenas, of living 

 break down, and wantonly destroy suu'iry ears of| together in peace and harmony, lij llierelbre, 

 corn, to the great detriment of the proprietor ; I any considerations or argumenls can possibly be 

 whereupon, the said B, Ibrthwiih issues his man- 1 drawn from the former, In lavor of the latter, I 

 date to his overseer and negroes, (nothing loih,) hope to be excused lor making the atlempt; es- 

 to dog, shoot, or otherwise destroy the said ma- 1 pecially, when the Worst that can fiappen, will be 



rauding porkefs. A report of the killed and 

 ■wounded is speedily made to A, by his people also; 

 made too, with a thousand embellishments and 

 aggravating circumstances, to screen ihetnselves 

 from blame. Then comes A's mandate, as a retali- 

 atory measure, to murder B's dogs; or should they 

 not be "come-at-able," to wreak the vengeance, 

 at Ihe first opportunity, upon B's famous high-bred 

 bull, vviih some great ajjpropriate name, such as 

 Bonaparte, or Jackson. This order being execut- 

 ed, imparts such additional dignity to the quarrel, 

 that it not unfrequently descends to the children, 

 as a valuable part of the family inheritance; and 

 thus may whole families, to the second generation, 

 be kept at variance, for many years— all owing, in 

 the first instance, to a bad gate! ! 



The foregoing arguments and suggestions in 

 favor of good gates, ou^ht, alone to'cause every 

 body to make Uicm, who use them at all. But 

 they are susceptible ofmore important application. 

 They may teach even politicians, (high as they 

 generally hold their wise heads above all aiiricul- 

 ral matters,) a most uselijl lesson, thus. When 

 they notice, as they might, their perfect adaptation 

 to all the purposes (or which they were desiinied, 

 and plainly perceive that these purposes could not 

 properly be accomplished, unless all their bars and 

 bolts, and braces— their tenons, mortices, dove- 

 tails, and hinges— were carefully maintained in 

 their original and relative combinations and jiosi- 

 lions; might not the said wise-headed politicians 

 apply these manilijst fiicts to our state and fijderal 

 constitutions? Comj)ared to a gate — they are ma- 



lo condemn me as somewhat too fimciful in for- 

 cing my premises and conclusions to suit each 

 other. 



There is a little story related by Mr. Say, in his 

 excellent work on political economy, so applica- 

 ble to this subject of bad gates, that I cannot for- 

 bear to repeat it, in his own words. 



"I remember'" (says Mr. Say,) "being once in 

 the country, a witness of the numberless minute 

 losses, that neglectllil housekeeping entails. For 

 want of a trumpery la'.ch, the gate of the poultry- 

 yard was forever open; there being no means of 

 (dosing it externally, it was on the swing every 

 time a person went out; and many of the poultry 

 were lost in consequence. One day a fine young 

 porker made his escape into the woods, and the 

 whole family, irardener, cook, milk-maid, &c., 

 presently turned out in quest of the fugitive. The 

 gardener was tiie first to discover the object of pur- 

 suit, and, in leaping a ditch to cut off liis further 

 escape, got a sprain that confined him to his bed, 

 for the next fortnight; the cook found the linen 

 burnt, that she had left hung up belbre the fire to 

 dry ; and the milk-maid, having Ibrgotlen, in her 

 haste to tie up the cattle prop'erly in the cow-house, 

 one of the loose cows had broken the leg of a colt 

 that happened to be kept in the same shed. The 

 linen burnt, and the gardener's work lost, were 

 worth full twenty crowns; and the colt about as 

 nmch more — so tliat here was a loss, in a few mi- 

 nutes of forty crowns — purely for the want of a 

 latch, \hiit. might have cost a few so^/s, at the ut- 

 most; and this in a household where the strictest 



