14 LIFE OF BENJAMIN SILLIMAN. 



asylum to the travelling friend. My mother was born and 

 educated under such influences, and a refined standard 

 of deportment in the parental home added graceful at- 

 tractions to her manners. 



Among the first people in New England there was a 

 graceful dignity blended with winning kindness, and, in 

 the case of acknowledged friends, crowned by a cheer- 

 ful greeting when they met, which produced reciprocal 

 feelings and a cordial response. These traits were con- 

 spicuous not only among persons in elevated position, but 

 in a good degree also in those gradations in society in 

 which refinement was not dependent on wealth, and limited 

 resources demanded even a frugal hospitality. Such was 

 the case with the clergymen, who, being usually men of 

 education, and often as well as their families possess- 

 ing very interesting manners, caused their homes, with the 

 aid of manly sons and lovely daughters, to present delight- 

 ful family circles. My mother was very attentive to our 

 manners. We were taught to be very respectful, especially 

 to older persons and to ladies. If we received a book or 

 anything else from her hand, a look of acknowledgment 

 was expected, with a slight inclination of the head, which 

 she returned. In a word, she wished to form our manners 

 to a standard at once respectful and polite. We must not 

 interrupt any one who was speaking, and never speak in a 

 rude, unmannerly way. We were taught always to give place 

 at a door or gate to another person, especially if older. Of 

 course all profaneness and levity on religious subjects, and 

 all coarse and indelicate language, were prohibited. The 

 family manners in those early times were superior in some 

 respects to those which are often observed at the present 

 day. The blunt reply to a parent, without the addition of 

 sir or ma'am to yes and no, was then unknown, except 

 among rude and unpolished people.* The change is not 

 an improvement. The omission of terms of reverence and 



* Of course I do not refer to the Quakers or Friends, with whom plain- 

 ness of speech is a religious habit. 



