176 THE JOURNEYMAN. 



wretchedly low at present, and I write bombast because 

 unable to write anything better.' 



But Swanson is in a mood far too earnest to be 

 pleased with Miller's light humour, and he gently je- 

 bukes the levity of this letter. It ' yielded ' him, he 

 frankly says, ' some degree of disappointment.' He re- 

 turns at once to his point, and puts the direct question, 

 c Have you made your peace with God ? ' Hugh can 

 now fence no longer. He confesses that he had been 

 prevented from responding to his friend's appeals by a 

 f backward mistrustful pride and bashfulness.' In sim- 

 ple-hearted reliance on the friendliness of a correspond- 

 ent who justified the confidence reposed in him, he gives 

 an account of himself. ' At times I have tried to pray. 

 At times I have even thought that these prayers were not 

 in vain. I have striven to humble my proud spirit by 

 reflecting on my foolishness, my misery, and guilt. I 

 have thought to be reconciled to that God who, in His 

 awful justice, has doomed the sinner to destruction, yet 

 who, in His infinite mercy, has found out a way of re- 

 demption ; but I am an unsteady and a wavering creature, 

 nursing in my foolishness vain hopes, blinded by vain 

 affections, in short, one who, though he may have his 

 minutes of conviction and contrition, is altogether en- 

 amoured of the things of this world and a contemner of 

 the cross.' 



The letter in which this passage occurs is dated 

 December, 1825. About this time Swanson becomes 

 so absorbed in his studies that he finds it impossible 

 to devote time to correspondence, and he writes Miller 

 briefly, on the 14th of January, 1826, to that effect. 

 ' Go on, my dear Hugh ' he says, in reference to the 

 chief subject on which they had exchanged thoughts 

 c go on, and the Lord Himself will bless you. If you 



