HISTORY OF HIS MIND. 193 



change of heart are, when I see how little there is to 

 justify even the limited profession I made when I last 

 addressed you by writing, I tremble lest you are throw- 

 ing away your affections on a deceiver who is now even 

 less worthy of your friendship than when he confessed 

 himself a stranger to Christ. But why tremble on this 

 account ? If I am a deceiver, I am not a wilful one ; for 

 the hypocrite only trembles when detected or on the verge 

 of detection, and if, by mistaking an excited imagination 

 for a changed heart, I deceive both my friend and myself, 

 I am surely rather unfortunate than guilty. 



' I have for some time had the intention of writing for 

 your perusal a history of my mind, with its various and 

 varying opinions for the lasV seven years. For this I 

 have more than one reason. I would wish, by showing 

 you what I am and what I have been, to furnish you 

 with data from whence you might draw whatever con- 

 clusion your judgment or experience warranted. I 

 would wish to give you a faithful picture of my mind, 

 and thus add to your knowledge of human nature by 

 casting light on the only point with which you are not 

 already acquainted as well or better than myself. I 

 would also wish, by calling to recollection, and then ex- 

 amining, the vague and foolish opinions that once formed 

 my belief, to prevent the Tempter from reigning over 

 me a second time by laws whose injustice I have dis- 

 covered, or shaking me by quibbles of whose insolidity I 

 have had experience. 



' I believe I may term my education a religious one. 

 I was examined in the Catechism by my uncles every 

 Sabbath night, and forced to attend regularly at 

 church. This, you will say, is a poor definition of the 

 words, religious education, but in nine cases out of ten it 

 is all that is meant by them. As I advanced into the 



VOL. I. 13 



