194 THE JOURNEYMAN. 



latter years of boyhdod I became impatient of this re- 

 straint, and after many struggles, in which I showed a 

 fierceness and desperation of character worthy of the 

 liberty for which I strove, I became, as some of my 

 friends satirically termed me, a lad of my own will. As 

 a lad of my own will, I was a Sabbath-breaker and a 

 robber of orchards ; and as strange foolish thoughts, 

 passages of Scripture, and questions on the subject of 

 religion would at times either flash upon my recollection 

 or rise in my mind, just for the sake of peace I also 

 became an atheist. A boy atheist is surely a strange 

 and uncommon character. I was one in reality, for, 

 possessed of a strong memory, which my uncles and an 

 early taste for reading had stored with religious sen- 

 timents and stories of religious men, I was compelled, 

 as I have already said, for peace' sake, either to do that 

 which was right, or, by denying the truth of the Bible, 

 to set every action, good or bad, on the same level, and I 

 had chosen the latter as the more free and pleasing way. 

 My mind, as you will see in the sequel of my story, long 

 retained the bent which it at this time acquired ; but 

 my actions, restrained by a rising pride, by notions of 

 honour, perhaps by a conscience which, though fast 

 asleep, had its dreams, became less reprehensible. I 

 became what the world calls honest ; and, from a dis- 

 like of drink and noisy company, had all along preserved 

 a habit of sobriety, but to every other vice to which a 

 young man of sixteen is exposed, I was addicted. You 

 are aware that, much earlier than this, I composed 

 pieces in rhyme, which I called poems. One of the 

 drawers of my desk is filled with copies of these youth- 

 ful effusions, which I preserve both for the sake of the 

 recollections attached to them, and for the history I can 

 trace in them of the growth of my mind and its varying 



