294 EAST PRUSSIA TO THE GOLDEN GATE 



holiday for hirn! The poor man's life has but one vaca- 

 tion, when all seems ended, when men in holiday attire 

 sink his body five or six feet deep into mother earth, 

 then covering his coffin with cold, unsympathetic ground. 

 But there at least, is a time of rejoicing for the poor 

 man, though he cannot, as in his childhood days, count 

 the moments by paper-slips. Providence prefers to sur- 

 prise him, by extinguishing the poor, sick, work-worn 

 life at an unexpected hour. 



I am a fool, I know, a dangerous, maddened, relentless 

 fool, who worries himself and others, all of which I know, 

 but cannot help that I was born for a dark existence. 

 Do you still remember, how we children surrounded the 

 Christmas tree, to watch the candles go out one after 

 another, up to the large life-light on the top of the tree? 

 The present, earnest life has interpreted for me this par- 

 able of the big Christmas candle. I still look toward the 

 candle of hope. To-day it burns rather dimly, though 

 not so very low, not yet nearing the end, as it appeared 

 a year ago. Yes, this last comparison makes me see 

 things brighter but, shall I ever live to see it shine se- 

 renely? Though I be but a poor fool, I am not far enough 

 gone, to grow melancholy over what may or may not be 

 in store for me in years to come. We poor pygmies do 

 not know what even the next morning may bring us! 

 Meanwhile I shall do my duty, as and wherever I see it, 

 and do it earnestly and courageously as becomes a man, 

 who forges his own fate and everything will turn out well. 



It is now time to withdraw in Morpheus' arms; or, 

 prosaically expressed, I shall roll my tired body in the 

 blankets and go to sleep. Have amused myself this af- 

 ternoon by planing five dozen pickets— six feet each — 

 for a garden fence. This occupation tired me the more, 

 as the wood used had been exposed to an uninterrupted 

 eight-day California downpour of winter rain. I shall 

 therefore not delay my night's rest. Once more: Good 

 night— good night! 



