THE LANCASTER FARMER. 



1760. ESTABLISHED 1760. 



GEO. M. STNEIMAN & CO., 



26 and 28 W. KING ST., 



HARDWARE. 



BUILDING HARDWARE, GLASS, 

 PIANTS. OILS, PUMPS, 



TERRACOTTA, IRON and LEAD FIFE 



LEATHER BELTING, 



SEEDS, PHOSPHATES, A^D 

 FARM IMPLEMEJS'TS. 



AGENTS FOR THE 

 "OHIO" REAPER AND MOWER, 

 WHANN'S PHOSPHATE, 

 FAIRBANK'S SCALES, 

 DUPONT'S POWDER, 

 HARRISBURG NAILS, &c., &c. 



We have the largest stock of general Hardware in the 

 State, and our prices are as low aud terms as liberal as can 

 l)e found elsewhere. 7-;V6m 



mmm fqe faemies, 



NO MIDDLE-MEN. 



We have a large stock of Lumber, aud one of the moat 

 fxteneive Sash aud Door Factories iu the State, aud we are 

 prepared to fiiruish Honse and Barn Bills complete. 



All kinds of Mauufactured Fencing, &c., making a speci- 

 alty of suppljiug the agricultural community. We will 

 make prices delivered to any Railroad Station. All our 

 material g;iiaraiitee(l as represented. All mauufactured 

 work kiln-dried and warranted not to shrink. All inquiries 

 cheerfully answered. 



One of the firm can be seen at the Franklin House, North 

 Qrieeu Street, Lancaster, Pa., on Monday of each week. 



KENDIG, BRICKER & LAUMAN, 



7-l-12iri] Middletown Dauphin co., Pa. 



J. STAUFFER, 



LANCASTER, PENN'A. 

 235 EAST ORANGE ST. 



All matters appertaining to FXITED STATES or OAXA- 

 DIAN PATENTS, TRADE MARKS, aud COPYRIGHTS. 

 promptly attended to. His expei-ience, success and faithful 

 attention to the interests of those who engage his services 

 are fully acknowledged and appreciated. 



Prelirainarj- examinations niade for him by a reliable As- 

 sistaiit at Washiugtou, without extra charge for drawing 

 nr description. [7-4-tf 



JOHN M. COWELL, 



Coflvejaiicer ani Real Estate Apiit, 



OFFICK IN LAW BCILJjfNG, 



N. W. COR. DUKE AND GRANT STS., 



LANCASTER, PA. 



Real E.ttnte of all tlescriptiou Iwiigbt^ -sold aud ex- 

 chauged on commission. 



J.oatis Negotiated. Mortgages boiight aud sold. 



I't'operties takeu in charge, aud rents, interest, etc., 

 collected. 



J^articular attention giveu to matters appertaining to 

 Real Estate Law, and Couveyauciug, 



Deeds, Mortgages, Briefs, Wills aud all other legal 

 iustrnments correctly drawn aud handsomely and ueatly 

 engrossed. 



Maps of Properties, Lots, i;arnis, &c., aud Draughting in 

 general accurately aud handsomely executed. [7-l-l'2m 



The Best Cow; A pretty rich thiug occurred at 

 the establishment of Simpson not h)ng since. Simp- 

 son used to be our milkman, and we attribute to him, 

 in a great measure, our loss of confidence in humanity 

 generally, and milkmen in particular. Mike Wclcli 

 had been recommended to Simpson as a fit man tn 

 assist in taking care of horses and cows ; so Mike was 

 hired, and placed in charge of this department. 



One morning, after Mike had been a month at the 

 place, Simpson, who had made ready to start off with 

 his milk-cart, said to him : 



'•Mike, you may give the cows some oat meal this 

 morning, and be sure you give my best milker an ex- 

 tra quantity." 



" The best milker, is it, sir '." 



•' Yes ; you know the old cow that gives the most 

 iniiki" 



'• Bedad, I think I do, sir." 



" Well, you give her four quarts of the mash." 



" All right, sir. I'll do that same." 



On the evening of that day Simpson had occasion 

 to go to the old wooden pump in the yard. He tried 

 the handle but it wouldn't work. The pump seemed 

 to be entirely choked up. Finally, he discovered that 

 all the upper i)art was loaded with something very 

 nearly resembling «at -meal mash. He called his man 

 servant. 



" Mike," said he, "what is the matter with this 

 pump?" 



■'The pump, is it sir V 



" Yes. How came this oat-meal mash in here '." 



" Sure, sir, I put it in meself." 



" Stupid blockhead ! why did j-ou do that ?" 



"It was yerself that told me, sir." 



" I — I told you to put it in here ?" 



"Indade ye did, sir.'' 



"Wh3', you thick-headed rascal I what do you 

 mean?" 



"Don't be in a passion, master. Did you not tell 

 me to give yer best milker an extra quantity of the 

 mash? and where in all the world, I'd like to know, 

 is the crathur that gives so much milk to yer cans as 

 does this old pump?" 



The story leaked out. and added greatly to the dis- 

 trust already entertained by Simpson's customers. 



The Springfield (Mass.) f'«io)(says: " Mr. Spring- 

 field is the postmaster at Tyner, Tenn., and Mr. Ty- 

 neristhe agent of the Post-office Department at the 

 postal-card factory in Springfield, Mass. Mr. Spring- 

 field of Tyner, needing some postal cards, ordered 

 them from the Post-office Department. The order 

 from Mr. Springfield of Tyner was forwarded to Mr. 

 Tyner of Springfield; and Mr. Tyner of Springfield 

 sent the cards to Mr. Springfield of Tyner, but Mr. 

 Springfield of Tyner not getting the cards from Mr. 

 Tynei^ of Springfield, Mr. Springfield of Tyner wrote 

 to Mr. Tyner of Springfield making inquiry regarding 

 the card's ordered to be sent by Mr. Tyner of Spring- 

 field to Mr. Springfield of Tyner, and this letter from 

 Mr. Springfield of Tyner to Mr. Tyner of Springfield 

 inquiring about the cards ordered to be sent to Mr. 

 Springfield of Tyner by Mr. Tyner of Springfield, Mr. 

 Tyner of Springfield now keeps to show to his friends 

 when telling the story of the postal cards ordereil l)y 

 Mr. Springfield of Tyner and sent to Mr. Siiriniificld 

 1^' Tyner by Mr. Tyiier of Springfield, and iinally re- 

 ceived by Mr. Springfield of Tyner." 



A Pass TO Hade.s: There is a newspaper man in 

 the eastern part of Michigan who is being Ijautered as 

 the champion railroad pass beegar. " Passing'' lihu 

 by, we want to tell a little story about anoldacquaiiU- 

 ance who once published a pajier on the liiieof the De- 

 troit and Milwaukee P.oad. He was a mighty poor 

 compositor to begin with, aud the first issue of his 

 paper was a sight to see. He had borrowed old stereo- 

 types of bitters and buchu to fill up with, and his 

 " salutatory," as he calleil it, contained about two 

 hundred typographical eri-ors and lialf that number 

 of grammatical blunders. But it was a foundation, 

 and he went to receiving subscriptions aud sending for 

 railroad passes. He " went for" superintendents un- 

 til he had a pass over every road in the State ; but 

 these were not enough. He scut abroad, and finally 

 he addressed the superintendent of an Ohio road. No 

 answer. The editor wrote again. No answer. He 

 wrote a third letter, and an answer came back, " Go 



to h 1" The editor turned the letter over and 



wrote, " Send me a pass on your road and I will." 

 The pass came and he was. made happy. 



A GOOD story is told of an old farmer, whose son 

 had for a long time been ostensibly studying Latin in 

 a popular academy. The farmer not being perfectly 

 satisfied with the course and conduct of the young 

 liopeful, recalled him from school, and placing him 

 by the side of a cart one day, thus addressed him : 

 " Now, Joseph, here is a fork, and there is a heap of 

 manure aud a cart ; what do you call them iu Latin ?" 

 "Forkibus, cartibus, et mauuribus," said Joseph. 

 " Well, now," said the old man, " if you don't take 

 that forkibus pretty quickilms, and pitch that man- 

 tu-ibus into that cartibus, I'll break your lazy backi- 

 bus." Joseph went to workibus forthwithibus. 



J. F. FRUEAUFF, 



Office-2o4 Locust-st. House-27 S. Second-st. 



Gai:.xjn!CsixA.. i»a,. 



Notes, Bonds, 



Mortgages, Wills, 



Deeds, Leases, 



Building Contracts, 



And all manner of .\GUKKMENTS neatly and exreditionsly 

 drawn. (Jases caiefully and thoiongbly Hied before 



JUSTICES OF THE PEACE, 



ARBITRATORS. ROAD-VIEWtRS. AUDITORS. 



Or in any Courts of Lancaster County. 

 COUNSEL GIVEN To 



EXECUTORS, ADMINISTRATORS & ASSIGNEES, 



Or Trustees of any kind. 



Collections, large or small, mside ujon a uniform table ol 

 rates, in all parts of the United States. 



Si^ecial facilities for Colleclioiis of Estates or Debts iu 

 Europe. 



Cousultations aud Corresj oudence conducted iu either the 

 French, German or English langUfeges. 



J. F. FRUEAUFF, 



7-l-V2ro] Columbia, Penua. 



Iitir@st Paid OS Bepoiits. 



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MOSE¥ TO LOAN AT ALL TIMES, 



at Liberal Rates, at approved security. 



SPECI.\L .\ND LIBERAL TKKIIS made with parties 

 having- charg-e ot Trust and Estate Funds. 



C^Governmen,! and State Bonds, Gold, Silver, and 

 Coupons, Viought and sold. 7-1 -12m 



PATENTS 



OBTAIffiD BSET AND CHEAPEST BY 



LOUIS BAGGER & CO., 



SOLICITOES OP PATENTS, 



"^Tasliingtoxi, D. C. 



nr- Address all letters to P. O. Box Ui. 7-3-12ni 



The Only Place in To'wn for Cheap Soap. 

 HERMAN MILLER'S 



STEAM SOAP AND CANDLE WORKS, 



i2 EAST EIHQ SI. Faetory-SODTH WATEE ST. 



Keeps constantly on hand a good assortment ol 



SOAPS OF ALL KINDS. 



Tallow and Fat taken In exchansje at the highest mar- 

 7-2] ket prlceri. Patent Wheel Grease for sale. [6m 



