8 LIFE OF SIR JOHN LUBBOCK ch. 



case in which I was directly asked for money, and 

 the apphcant endeavoured to reassure me, and 

 to prove that I might give it without any risk of 

 being convicted of bribery, for he said, ' I am a 

 teetotaller and unmarried.' 



" I have said that in the House of Commons 

 one passes many, many tedious hours. There are 

 however, of course, some amusing incidents. I 

 do not allude to what are known as ' scenes in the 

 House.' Personal altercations and recrimina- 

 tions are to my mind painful episodes, and one 

 of the most unsatisfactory features of political 

 life is that some leaders acquire their position 

 greatly through their condescending to the use of 

 unlimited vituperation. I will not, however, en- 

 large on this ; but I may lay myself open to the 

 charge of following the example of an American 

 editor who, referring to an attack made on him 

 by a rival newspaper, said that he would not con- 

 descend to reply, but if he did he should say that 

 ' for length, spite, and flabbiness it reminded him 

 of nothing so much as a paralysed alligator.' 



" Some of the funniest things I have ever 

 heard in the House have been said by Scotchmen. 

 One honourable Baronet from the south of 

 Scotland describing the £2,000,000 voted to India 

 towards the expense of the Afghan war (and 

 which was afterwards raised to £.5,000,000) de- 

 scribed it as a ' flea-bite in the ocean ' ; and the 

 same gentleman advocated an increase of the 

 European troops employed in India, for, he said, 

 ' Depend upon it, Mr. Speaker, the pale face of 

 the British soldier is the back-bone of our Indian 

 Army.' 



