NORTHERN MEMOIRS. 89 



TJieoph. If luxurious dreams and witches 

 banquets are equally alike impoverished vanity ; 

 then to contemplate England in the bowels of 

 Scotland, will represent to us but fictitious delu- 

 sions. Rather would I have you tell me how 

 you like the commons, and tell me then how 

 you approve the cookery, 



Am. I like it so well, that I could heartily 

 wish it had been better ordered for your enter- 

 tainment ; but the difficulty is such in this 

 northern latitude, that good cooks and good fish 

 seldom dwell together. 



Theoph. Then let them dwell asunder ; how- 

 ever, it's well it is as it is, better ill-cooked than 

 none at all. However, in the mean while reflect 

 on your self, and give us a description of the 

 town of Dumfreez. 



Am. I fancy e're long you will change your 

 note, when you traverse these pleasant northern 

 tracts. In the mean time I'll gratify you with 

 a breviate of Dumfreez, where a provost, as su- 

 perintendent, supplies the place of a mayor, a 

 magistrate almost as venerable as an English 

 constable. 



Theoph. That's wittily applied ; what comes 

 next? 



Am. Nay, hold a little, I have not done yet 

 with the eminencies and the remarks of the 

 town of Dumfreez ; for you are to consider it 



