70 LIFE IN IRELAND 



could find water enough to swim within two miles of 

 them ; so whilst they were peppering the shallow water 

 with shot, in spite of their shallow pates the enemy- 

 could land from deep water anywhere on t'other side, 

 where there is not so much as a pop-gun to impose them ; 

 however, they are mighty handy for fishing parties to 

 go into on a Sunday evening, and take their whiskey 

 and cold collation in comfort. Many a one thinks 

 they were built for no other use but to accommodate 

 evening parties, and put a few tenpennies into the 

 hand of the ould soldier that keeps them clean to 

 receive company.' 



This account of the pilot's was not by any means 

 embellished; the thing is a truism, and the Martello 

 Towers near Dublin stand as monuments of the national 

 folly and extravagance which paid for their erection, 

 and the stupidity of the fellow who planned their 

 situations. 



It reminds me of an Irish country gentlemen, who 

 had a small streamlet running through his domain into 

 a fine bay about two rniles distant. Ambitious to have 

 a big sloop built from the timber off his ov/n ground, 

 he consulted an Irish country ship-builder upon the 

 best mode of doing it on a certain spot ; the thing was 

 soon arranged, a ship laid upon the edge of the brook, 

 and a vessel begun and finished in less than a year ; 

 but behold ! when the time for launching this Irish 

 essay into the river came, it was found the vessel drew 

 five feet water, and there was only one in the river. 

 The gentleman reproached the architect for deceiving 

 him : ' By Jasus ! No,' said the old ship-cooper ; ' had 

 you ordered me to build a ship upon the Sugar-loaf 



