LIFE IN IRELAND 77 



whiskeyfied because the King 's come over ; and she 's 

 making all this rumpus only becase I gave her a small 

 pat on the head wid a sledge-hammer, by way of keep- 

 ing her quiet ! ' ' Oh, if that be all,' said Gram, ' I 

 shan't advance a step farther. I never interfere betwixt 

 man and wife, for if the woman 's kilt I can do her no 

 good, and if she 's alive she has better luck than half 

 the blacksmiths' wives in Dublin.' 'Ah,' cried Sir 

 Shawn, ' these fellows are very apt to mistake a 

 woman's head for an anvil, and to hammer the rust off 

 it every Saturday night.' 



Brian put a few tenpennies into the fellow's hand, 

 and told him to buy a plaster for his wife's head. 

 ' Och, by my modesty ! ' said the boy, ' and I '11 be after 

 buying one in the shape of a noggin of stalrinky to 

 drink the King's health in, for he 's going to knock up 

 the excisemen, and give every one lave to still their 

 own whiskey without any licence at all at all.' 



'What do you think, Brian, of this small specimen 

 of Low Life in Dublin ? ' ' Low enough,' said Brian, 

 'for the woman 's knocked down, and that in a cellar.' 

 ' Ground-floor you mean,' said Gram ; ' no Irishman of 

 spirit would live in a cellar, unless it were well filled 

 with the sweet pea, and then he would die in it.' A 

 proud and poor Irishman being asked what part of the 

 house he lived in, said he could scarcely tell. Is it the 

 first floor — No; Second floor — No; Third floor — No, 

 by Jasus ! 'tis above that ; I forget its name, but if the 

 house was turned upside down I should be in the 

 cellar. 



What with the multitudes gone to Howth, Dunleary, 

 and the Phoenix Park, Dublin appeared quite unpeopled. 



