154 LIFE IN IRELAND 



bear even a trace of the human form in his composi- 

 tion, his face was so disfigured with dirt, that potatoes 

 could have been planted either by drill or broadcast 

 on his cheeks ; and his 



* Brawny shoulders four feet square ' 



were covered with the remnants of a ' horse^ or rather 

 a donkey rug,' all in remnants; his breeches, like 

 Joseph's coat, were of many colours, but defied even 

 a colour merchant's eye to say which was which ; and 

 he had no stockings upon his legs, but those he came 

 into the world with, and a fine blue and buff pair 

 they appeared to be. Upon his feet were a handsome 

 pair of Kilkenny straw sandals, bound with hemp and 

 rope yarns. His daddies were not unlike haunches of 

 venison in a state of decay, I mean in that state of 

 civic putridity, which would have well pleased the 

 nostrils of Sir Watkin Leives, and the appetite of 

 Billy Curtis. Added to all these elegant accomplish- 

 ments, he had a head, on which the hairs stood firm 

 and pointed, 



' Like quills upon the fretful porcupine. ' 



He stood at the brass slider a monument of God's 

 judgment against vanity, and with all the assurance of 

 the devil, exclaimed, ' not guilty,' to the usual charge. 



Did you not steal the sheep, said Macttally, the 

 celebrated counsel. ' I don't, by Jasus, know a sheep 

 from a ship, so how could I steal them ? but I have a 

 counsellor coming, who has had a hand in the job, 

 and will lift me out of it.' 'Aye, and up out of it,' 



