LIFE IN IRELAND 209 



of the Excise. I have often had the pleasure of being 

 kicked in the riwip, and flattened in the noddle, by 

 those delectable ofificers, but I knew my own interest, 



and was determined to rise, by hook or by crook. 



Verily, verily I say unto you, that I commenced in- 

 former—not the vile informer, that for sake of lucre 

 swears the life of men away, and riots in the blood- 

 money, until he drops into the accursed by men, and 

 without hopes of mercy from God. 



' No, gentlemen, I sought out where the whiskey-stills 

 were working, and as I had always a "good nose," I 

 was successful in my scent, and gained so much appro- 

 bation, that I was complimented with a tide waiters 

 deputation for the small port of Clary Mo?iokiIae?idey. 



' Here I plodded on for some years— I made no 

 money, but I had fees on malt, whiskey, timber, 

 potatoes, and fools who were sent to Dublin by water 

 and land carriage. I managed to be boarded npon 

 every ship that came into the port, and I sometimes 

 divided myself into four halves and two quarters. I 

 could sign the books for every ship, and receive the 

 money also, taking care to divide the spoil with my 

 superiors. 



' I had a vote for the borough, and interest enough 

 to have seven more for the county. A general election 

 took place, and an opposition, furious as unchained 



tigers, began. The nmiisterial candidate was d d 



unpopular; for that reason I espoused his cause: I 

 had all to gain, and nothing to lose — it was the Pit 

 against the day, but I well knew that even if he lost, 

 my place would be secure; and if he gained, I was 

 sure of promotion, 

 o 



