246 LIFE IN IRELAND 



^ Boru Castle, Banks of the Snail Gutter, 

 County of Galway. 



' My dear Baronet, — I had the devil's own journey 

 here, so I had, and am safe in Hell at last : thrice the 

 coach broke down, and thrice did I break my leg ; it 

 has cost me a three half-guinea note in timber for my 

 support since I left you in Dublin. — I found friend 

 Brian's estate all in an uproar : the agetit had raised all 

 the farmers' rents, and besides laid a duty on private 

 whiskey stills, which put a pretty penny into his 

 pocket ; and having waited upon him, he received me 

 as Brian Boru's ancestor did the King of Norway's 

 Ambassador at Clontarf, when he told him to tell his 

 master to go to Hell, and save him the trouble of 

 sending him thither. 



' Finding nothing was to be got fro7ft him, I went 

 from him, and called a meeting of the tenants in the 

 farmyard next day, and showed vay powers to act: they 

 all swore they were fleeced, and had paid half a year's 

 rent in advance to sarve their dear master — and that 

 Squeezem had got the money. A nod 's as good as a 

 wank, said I, to a blind horse ; and as the County was 

 under proclamation as a disturbed district, I whispered 

 my friend Captain Clapperclaw, of the Inniskillens, and 

 he sent off a Serjeant's party, who brought Master 

 Squeezem on his knees on the barn floor in a pig's 

 whisper. Shell out, says I, you uncontrollable thief 

 of the world, and tip us the key of your papers, they 

 are all now mine. Serjeant, break his head wid your 

 pike, and if he don't deliver, the cold iron after that : 

 go and break open his boxes. However, the spalpeen 

 handed out his keys, and I sacked four thousand 



