LIFE IN IRELAND 257 



Grammachree, your Ladyship is getting as fat and 

 large as a whale, and yet I love you. A whale — do you 

 think I am as large and fat as a whale ; wouldn't you, 

 you wicked rogue, like to be a Jonas ? — The least said 

 is the soonest mended, and I never like to go too far 

 into a subject before company. I like wit very much, 

 and always will keep it up to the utmost of my power, 

 and all that contributes to harmony. 



The scenes of wit that occur upon a particular 

 occasiofi are many. I have heard that upon one time 

 — no, it was not o?ie time, but fifty times — Sir Shawn 

 said that he thought a new order of The Garter should 

 be instituted, and solely appropriated to females. I 

 trust, said Brian, I shall have a situation on the new 

 establishment — that oi garterer. It would not suit you, 

 said my Lady Demiqtiaver, you would soon be above 

 your business. 



In merriment like this the time slipt away; and, 

 strange to tell, all parties were reconciled to do as they 

 would be done by. Sir Shawn steered off with his 

 new found chere amie ; and Lady Demiquaver^ with Sir 

 Brian Boru, went to bed — I beg pardon, went to see 

 themselves to repose : it is not in my province to com- 

 ment upon these things, they are quite common in 

 Life in Ireland ; and I have no reason to suppose 

 but our friends were as honest and good as their 

 neighbours, and may continue so. 



The tables were now turned, and Sir Shawn was in 

 the same pickle from which he had rescued Brian 

 Boru — he was the dupe of a little wench, or at least 

 appeared to be so. 



Grammachree steered home to his lodging, highly 



R 



