C>' 



280 LIFE IN IRELAND 



entered the subject, and got into the spirit of the thing 

 wasn't it vexing to be lnt7'aptedhy such a useless balder- 

 dash as him, who has no more occasion for a wife than 

 a cow has for a side pocket.' 



Darby, who had been ail his life used to ' honour 

 and obey,' held his head down upon this occasion, and 

 muttered, he didn't mean any offence, and would take 

 care to do so no more. 



Here, here, said Brian, giving him a bank note, 

 here is a plaister for your nose, and no more about it. 

 That's for me, said Mrs. Pheely, snatching it from him, 

 and putting it into her bosom ; I '11 buy you a plaister, 

 you crowl of the devil, that shall heal all your ugliness, 

 before you can say strike me lucky. 



Be off, you Muggletonian, and mix a jug of egg wine 

 for the jontlemen here; and mind do it well, or I'll 

 comb your head w^d the legs of this chair. 



Darby did as he was directed, and the company 

 laughed most heartily : it was something new to see 

 an Irishman under petticoat government, and one so 

 thoroughly under it as Darby, had never met any of 

 their observations before. 



How do you manage, said Sir Shawn, to keep him 

 in tune so charmingly ? Och, and I have a very charm- 

 ing broomstick in the bar, wid which I tickle up his 

 phiz. Wid a twiggle and a friz I have used him to it 

 since ever we were first spliced ; and I '11 take especial 

 good care he shall not forget it in a hurry. 



Darby here came in with the egg, and handed it 

 round with very good grace. Drink, said Brian to 

 Darby, drink, my hearty, and give me your hand ; 

 here 's an end to all animosity, and your wife's good 



