DEER BROUGHT HOME. 203 



CHAPTER XXXII. 



Deer brought home Dinner Gastronomic reflections Grouse soup- 

 Roasted salmon Cooking pour et contre Carouse commences 

 Symptoms of inebriety Night in the hills Coffee al fresco Tem- 

 perance society A Bacchanalian group Auld lang syne Borrowing 

 a congregation The company dispersed. 



WONDERFUL are the inventions of man ! The slaughter of 

 an unhappy stag has been made good and sufficient cause 

 for all the idlers of the community assembling at our cabin. 

 They are squatted round the fire like Indians in a wigwam - 

 and old John, no bad authority in such matters, declares 

 in a stage whisper to his master, " that a four-gallon cag 

 will scarcely last the night, there is such a clanjamfry of 

 coosherers* in the kitchen the devil speed them, one and all !" 



It was twilight when we got home. The deer had arrived 

 before us, and was already hanging up, suspended from the 

 couples. A cheerful fire blazed in the room of state, while 

 exhilarating effluvia from the outer chamber told that John's 

 preparations were far advanced. We had scarcely time to 

 make our hurried toilet before the table was covered, and 



* This phrase is used in Ireland to designate that useless and eternal 

 tribe, who are there the regular attaches of families of ancient lineage. 

 Nurses, fosterers, discharged servants, decayed sportsmen, and idlers of 

 every sex, age, and calling, come under this description. 



There was a higher class of nuisance under the title of poor relations 

 who formerly wandered over Connaught, and from the interminable 

 ramifications of the old families, there were few houses into which these 

 worthies had not a right of entree. The last one I recollect when a boy, 

 traversed the country upon a white pony, dressed in dingy black, and 

 Arrayed in a cocked-hat ; a certain number of houses were under annual 

 requisition, and such was the influence of annual custom, that none would 

 venture to refuse this forced hospitality, although the man was latterly a 

 sad bore. Some gentlemen, when their " loving cousin was expected, 

 had his approach observed, and stopped him in the avenue with an excuse 

 that the house was full, and a subsidy of a few guineas. The money was 

 always acceptable and whoever unluckily happened to be next number 

 on the visiting list, was favoured with one week additional from my 

 " Cousin Mac." 



" Mac," with his brigadier wig and white pony, has gone the way of all 

 flesh, and by travestying a line of Sir Walter Scott, one could add, 



" The last of all the bores was he." 



